Broken
by The Half Mad Muggle
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is grieving for his lost child. Lord Voldemort is triumphant. Severus Snape is broken. But the story is not yet finished...what happens when the three paths meet one final time? Can Severus be fixed? Sequel to "Breaking". NOW COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Broken Chapter One**

**DISCLAIMER (applies to all chapters): I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, OR ANY RECOGNISABLE CHARACTERS. THEY ARE THE PROPERTY OF J.K. ROWLING.**

**I AM JUST PLAYING WITH THEM. HEH HEH HEH.**

Wow. I never expected such a reaction to this trilogy, let alone the last chapter of Breaking. It means so much to me that everyone enjoys it, as much as I enjoy writing it. Now, I know you are all hoping for a happy ending. I can't promise that, but Broken will bring some happy scenes, sad scenes, and heartbreaking scenes. But perhaps...not in that order. *laughs cruelly* I haven't quite finished with Severus just yet.

I hope it lives up to everyone's expectations, as your reviews have meant and indeed mean the absolute world to me. I love you all, so much!

_This story is dedicated to my Kati._

* * *

_Headmaster! You never listen to me. You never ever listen! Do you not care at all?_

_Now look what you've done to me. I'm dead, tortured to death—and it's all your fault!_

_All your fault!_

_Your fault...._

He awoke with a start. When had he fallen asleep? The activity did not come easily to him at the moment. His dreams were polluted with cruel images that his mind inflicted on him to only deepen the guilt. Once again, sleep had caught him, and imprisoned him. He was sat upright too. In an armchair.

Oh. Surely not the staff room!

"Albus?" A soft hand touched his own. Minerva. "Are you all right? You were calling out."

Albus looked up into Minerva's kind face, "Fine." He ruffled, "I'm fine." He stood abruptly, ignoring Minerva's worried expression and the concerned glances of his colleagues. "Absolutely fine." He murmured. "I'm fine." He left the room in a hurry.

Fine. A word that had fallen from his lips so often recently. It had always been coupled with another lie.

He remembered someone else who had always lied by using the word fine.

"_I'm fine, Headmaster."_

But he had never been fine.

Everything reminded him of him. The corridors had subtle reminders. The classrooms had hints. The students' faces were the worst. Dark glances. A teacher, murdered.

Murdered. By whom? Not Voldemort. No, he had simply carried out the deed. Who had sent him there in the first place? Who had worn down his defences? Who had cut his heart and left him to bleed?

When he looked in a mirror, he saw the murderer.

People told him it wasn't his fault. Snape had had it coming. He couldn't protect everyone. There was no reason to feel guilty. There was no way he could save that man, so tainted and impure.

Even after his death, he couldn't say the truth. He couldn't say how courageous and brave and Light Severus Snape had been.

"_I'll show you coward."_

And indeed, Severus had. He had shown him who the true coward was.

Albus Dumbledore was a coward. The worst of the worst. He wouldn't defend his friend, his protégé, his _son_, even when he lay in a mausoleum in London. What would people think of him when they realised what he had done to that man—that intelligent, witty, valiant and beautiful man. Better for them to think he had died in battle—how and why was up to them.

How he hated himself. Severus had hated him. But no hate could surpass this self loathing.

Severus' room. Seemingly untouched. One month since the finding—announcement—death. He had not yet forced the wards to yield. He didn't want anyone else to access this shrine to someone he had loved so very, very deeply.

A shrine was what it was. The room looked like Severus. It smelt like Severus. It felt like Severus. He thought he knew the room off by heart, it was burned into his eyelids, and yet, small details surprised him every day. Today he could detect musk in the air. He breathed in deeply through his nose, wanting to savour every particle. Had Severus worn a scent? An aftershave, perhaps? Or had it just rested on his body like a fine shimmer of glitter, after all his potions making?

The photograph on the desk was not new. Albus knew it so well that he could draw it from memory. How long had he stared at the image? A rare moment, an unforgettable memory, a precious treasure. Severus...smiling. the expression never came easily to Snape—except if it were sarcastic. But here it had been a genuine smile, and it had been when he was stood at Dumbledore's side. Just the two of them. The way it was meant to be. The mentor and the student.

The Master and the Servant. Much more fitting.

He couldn't stay here. It was too painful. He wandered back to his office, trying to hold the pain in. He was going mad, and he knew it.

Every day was different. Sometimes he was gripped with heartbreak. Other times he felt empty, almost as if he was drowning in nothingness.

A voice behind him, "Albus" Remus came sprinting up behind him, lowering the volume of his voice dramatically to convey his information, "We've found You-Know-Who's hide out."

And every day he was consumed with uncontrollable, terrible, agonised rage. Anger that would make him destroy thing. The sense of injustice that would rip him apart.

And the loss that, right now, in this very second, and for the rest of time until he had his revenge, made him such a threat to Lord Voldemort.

* * *

_Yes. I have written a vengeful Dumbledore. But how vengeful will he be? And who may still be lying in Voldemort's hide-out, alone and forgotten. _

_Or perhaps not forgotten, if we know Voldemort..._

_Please review if you have the time, they mean the world to me, they really do...._


	2. Chapter 2

Broken Chapter Two:

_Thank you for the reviews! I thought I had to post this. You'll see... *evil laugh*_

_Don't worry, I am going to get straight into the chapter and I'm not going to bore everyone here. You'll see why at the end._

_Kati, I will be watching over you in your dreams. In a totally STALKERISH way. Ha ha ha!_

* * *

He held his wand tight in his sweaty palm. His knuckles were white, his nails digging into his palm. His face was set in granite. His eyes were stone, cold, dead.

The Aurors had stormed the ancient mansion—but they were late. As always. The Death Eaters had been somehow alerted, and the sneak attack had gone wrong. Aurors and Death Eaters were duelling, wounding, dying...

But Albus Dumbledore cared not for any of this. Amidst the shouting and cursing and screaming he was the epitome of calm. For he had succeeded in his mission—he was facing his nemesis.

Right now, his prey.

Lord Voldemort was silent. His wand was drawn too, but he was standing still. They simply stared at each other.

Then Voldemort chose to speak, "Lost something, have we?" His tone was sarcastic, laced with a hint of triumph.

Albus barely held onto his temper, "Do not push me, Tom."

Voldemort reached into his robes. "A gift for you." He threw an ebony wand—Severus' wand—onto the floor before Dumbledore's feet. "You'll be pleased to know he fought hard. But no one can withstand a huge amount of time in my company." He pointed to the wand, "What I had to do to make him scream..." Voldemort laughed mockingly.

In that moment, Dumbledore cast his curse—yet Voldemort easily deflected his clumsy, rage-filled attempt. "You are imbalanced, Dumbledore!" Voldemort paused, "He was completely mine at the end."

He waved his wand—not at Dumbledore, but at the ceiling. Orange flames shot from the end, engulfing the wooden beams—and with a sharp crack, he was gone.

Dumbledore coughed as the smoke invaded his lungs. He bent down and lifted with gentle reverence his protégé's wand from the floor. It would lie with its master in his tomb.

"Albus!" Voices were calling for him. "We have to go!"

Flames were surrounding him, but he made no effort to extinguish them. Let the place burn. It was a house of evil and nightmares.

* * *

Standing outside, he watched the fire start to consume the building. The flames melted into the image he had seen so often—his student lying in the ditch, already too far gone for anyone to save. How much had he suffered before that point?

What had Voldemort done to him before he had given him the final release? He swallowed, trying to convince himself that it was the smell of smoke forcing his eyes to water.

_I will find justice for you, Severus._

* * *

A few feet away, hidden in the forest, Lord Voldemort was surveying the burning building with Lucius Malfoy stood by his side. Voldemort folded his arms into his cloak, watching the flames crackle and the smoke billow.

Lucius glanced at his Lord questioningly, "My Lord..."

His question did not need finishing. Voldemort turned to look at him, eyes flickering with triumph and a cruel smile tainting his pale lips. He nodded, turning his gaze back to the flaming building.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore straightened his back, unable to watch the building collapse to the ground. It would burn for a little while longer, of that, he was sure.

_Headmaster..._

He shook his head, trying to dispel the sound from his mind. It was over. It had finished a month ago.

_Please..._

He wanted to speak aloud to himself, tell himself not to be so foolish. Severus was dead.

_Don't leave..._

He whirled on the building and started to walk away. He shut out the voice in his head.

_I'm still here..._

* * *

_Now you see? What a delightfully cruel chapter. No revenge just yet. Why is Voldemort so happy? And is the voice real...or is it just a figment of the imagination? Well. I suppose you will have to wait until the next chapter to find out! How long will that be? Well, I think that might depend on the comments! *more evil laughter*_

_Thank you for reading, and if you could leave a review, I will send you a virtual Snape to give you a hug. SS19 x_


	3. Chapter 3

**Broken Chapter Three**

_Ah. My next update. I had so many accusations of being evil! Me? Leave Snape to die in a burning building? *huffs* What does everyone think of me? It's not like I just spent the last ten thousand words TORTURING him or anything!_

_Oh. Wait. Never mind. Enjoy the next chapter!_

_My dedication remains the same as always. She's amazing, you know._

* * *

"Albus!"

Dumbledore turned back to meet Alastor Moody's gaze. "Have you seen Remus?"

Dumbledore shook his head, just wanting to leave.

"Then he must still be..." Moody glanced at the burning house. "He's still trapped in there!"

Dumbledore felt something pull at his heart. "I'll go back." He started toward the building, knowing that he had to go back.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Moody exclaimed, "You'll be burned alive!"

When Dumbledore turned back to Moody his eyes were raging with blue fire, "I will not let another man die due to Voldemort. I will NOT lose anyone else!" He half bellowed, before marching towards the building. He whipped out his wand and extinguished the flames by the door, watching them die.

The building was a little unstable—he knew he would have little time to find Remus and then get out. There was ominous creaking surrounding him, and even though he had extinguished the flames nearby to him, he knew some were still raging on the roof. The smoke was a bigger worry—his eyes were already streaming and his lungs felt choked. He coughed and lifted his wand, lit by the Lumos charm, to see around him. "Remus?" He called, hoping for a response.

"Over here!" A weak reply came speeding back to him. Dumbledore turned his wand and was relieved to see Lupin lying on the floor by the door to the cellar. There was a wooden beam across his legs—"Remus!" Dumbledore exclaimed, "Are you all right?"

Lupin nodded, "Yes, just couldn't push it off."

Albus bent down to help him back to his feet. "We need to get out of here."

"I..." Lupin paused, "I wanted to look in the cellar first. It's just...well...I can sense something. Almost...like a person. It's a scent that doesn't belong."

Dumbledore stared at him, "You think someone is down there? One of us?"

"No. But perhaps a prisoner."

A thrill caught Dumbledore's heart. He could at least relieve someone else of this torment. He hadn't been able to save Severus. But he would be able to save this person. "I don't know if we have the time..."

Lupin leaned against the wall, dusting his legs down and examining the bruising already appearing under his skin. "I am certain there is someone down there."

Dumbledore lifted the trap door, and the two peered down into the depths. There was a corridor, connected to the ground floor by stairs. "We'll take a look. If there is someone here, we need to free them. I won't forgive myself."

As they walked down the stairs, Lupin paused, "What happened to Severus wasn't your fault."

Dumbledore glanced at him. His eyes were dark under the light of his wand. "Try telling yourself that when you were the one who asked him to spy."

"He wouldn't want you to feel like this. He made his own decisions. You know that."

Dumbledore refused to look at Lupin, knowing that his eyes would betray him. "When we win this war, he will have his justice." They crossed into the dark cellar, silence falling over them. Dumbledore didn't talk about Snape to anyone; no one knew what had happened in the argument, but the image of him crumpled by Snape's side, splashed all over the Daily Prophet, had shaken many people.

There was a door at the end of the cellar. Lupin pointed at it, his whole body seeming to stiffen as he picked up an unfamiliar scent. "Here. Musk, I that's what I can smell. Something that doesn't belong."

Dumbledore nodded, "Very well. Let's get this door open."

As Lupin tried to open the door with his wand, Dumbledore let his mind wander. The scent musk had come up recently—he just couldn't place it.

Lupin slammed a hand against the door, "It's locked. I can't open it." They both looked up at the ceiling when ominous creaking started. "It's going to collapse. We have to get out of here."

Dumbledore stared at the door, "Remus, you go. If I try to open this door, I could bring the whole building down. If—" He held up a hand to stop Lupin interrupting, "If the building collapses, I will Apparate in time. But understand me...I will not leave someone else to die in Voldemort's grasp."

Lupin paused, staring at Dumbledore. "I can't let you stay..." There was another creak, louder this time. The temperature in the cellar was starting to rise—clearly, the fire upstairs was beginning to filter towards the lower floors. "Remus. Get out of here!" Dumbledore ordered, and the werewolf nodded once, before disappearing.

Dumbledore cast his spell at the door, expecting it to be reflected. Instead, the door opened. He wondered...perhaps...it was as if the door opened only for him.

He could smell fresh smoke. He would have to be quick. How he hoped that the prisoner would be in a state to walk. He didn't fancy carrying him. If the prisoner was still alive. That was something he had to consider.

There was a strange smell to this cell—a stench of blood. He could feel the Darkness oozing out to greet him—he waved his wand, brightening his Lumos charm, stepping further into the cell.

He instantly wished he hadn't. As light filled the small room, a figure was revealed, half sitting, half lying against the wall. Dumbledore shook his head, agonised. "No..." Everything seemed to freeze; icy water hit his stomach. "It can't be..."

This could not be happening.

He knelt down by the body and reached out a shaking hand. The skin was cold.

He ran his finger down the pale, still face. His nail brushed against raven hair.

He gritted his teeth to stop the tears falling. "Severus..." His voice cracked, "It can't be you. Please...don't do this to me." His eyes scanned the whole of the body, seeing the blood and the bruises and the scars. "I thought you were dead..." He whispered, wanting to hug the body close to him, but so worried about hurting him more. Was he even breathing?

The cracking noise in the ceiling reminded him that they had very little time left. This was not true. It could not be true. But he would take the body anyway.

There was something in his heart telling him that this was right. That he was staring down at the boy he had lost.

The building erupted into flames—drawing cries from the watching Aurors. They shielded their eyes from the blinding light, unable to believe that perhaps their leader was trapped inside.

Moody, stood with an exhausted and dusty Lupin, saw movement by the woods. "Albus!"

The old wizard was sat on the ground, a still figure lying in his arms. The Aurors started to run over—and as Moody neared Dumbledore, he felt his legs stop moving. That couldn't be...

Dumbledore's voice was steady, "Alastor. I need to know who lies in Severus' tomb. Go to the mausoleum." His order was concise, as Moody tried to shake himself out of shock. They thought he was dead! This had to be a trick.

Dumbledore raised his gaze for one moment, "Now." He didn't need to ask again—Moody was gone in that instant.

Dumbledore hated seeing him in the moonlight—the silvery light made the pale skin seem even more colourless. "Severus...can you hear me?" He had established that, by some amazing chance, the boy was still breathing. He had thought that fact would lighten his heart—but instead, a dead weight seemed to be dragging it down to the bottom of his chest. He knew what it was.

Guilt. This was his fault. He hadn't carried on searching. He had left him...alone...

The tears blurred his vision, and for a moment all the wounds were obscured. What had he done? "Severus...wake up..."

Moody reappeared with a sharp crack. He walked over to Dumbledore, not quite sure how to word his next sentence. Dumbledore's blue eyes stared at him, and finally Moody nodded. "It's not him in the tomb."

Dumbledore felt his heart break into several tiny pieces. "He's been here all this time..."

Moody looked down at the mass of torn robes and pale, broken skin. "He needs medical care. Remus and you should go to St Mungo's. We'll handle the clear up here."

Dumbledore clutched the body closer to him. "He won't die. I won't let him. Not for a second time. That would not be fair."

Moody folded his arms, "Then you had better hurry." He said bluntly.

Dumbledore looked down at the pale face once more. It wasn't his body in the tomb. He had buried someone else, wept for someone else, mourned someone else. While, at the same time, Voldemort had revelled in triumph and tortured the man who had never deserved such torment.

But his imprisonment would have changed him, and even in this terrible moment when Dumbledore should have been relieved to hold his most beloved so close...he knew that Severus Snape was never going to be the same again.

He just needed to know how broken he was.

* * *

_There we are then, the end of the next update. Was that actually Snape and Dumbledore together? I THINK SO! Next chapter introduces my first OC, who is very important to me! Thank you for reading, and review if you have the time, because they mean the world to me! Update next week somewhen. SS19 x_


	4. Chapter 4

**Broken Chapter Four**

_Ahhhh, I know the last chapter might have been a little boring. But we can't have an emotional reconciliation if Severus is unconscious now, can we? And anyway, I had to get the rescue out of the way so we can move onto my famous HURT COMFORT, as people keep reminding me...that is what the fic is for, after all!_

_Thank you for reviewing and reading...now we move into St Mungo's. Any OCs you may spot in this chapter are mine. Anyone else...is not. Shame...could you imagine what I could do to Snape if he was here? *snickers* _

_**Kati is my Dumbledore.**_

* * *

St Mungo's was bustling with people—it was too quick for Dumbledore's liking. The Emergency Ward was quieter, very few people. But still, he needed to sit down...he just wanted to sit and take a moment to realise what exactly was happening here. But before he could even come to terms with the fact that his Severus could actually be alive...he had been snatched away by two doctors and whisked away to another room. He had tried to follow—he couldn't bear to be parted from him again, he needed to be at Severus' side when—if—when he woke up...but two guards had stopped him. "Sorry Sir, you need to stay here."

He had been about to give them a piece of his mind, angry that he was not allowed to see Severus, and not about to take no for an answer. But then Remus had rested a gentle hand on his arm, "Come on Albus, let's sit down." His firm but kind tone cut straight through the haze seeming to mist around Dumbledore, and the much older wizard snapped to attention.

They both sat on stiff and uncomfortable chairs by the window. Albus looked down at his hands, seeing dirt and blood staining the pale skin. It was not his blood. He paused for a moment, seeming lost in thought. Finally, he found the strength to speak. "I can't believe he's..."

Lupin nodded, "I know."

"I thought he was dead..." Dumbledore rested his head in his hands, "Why I am not relieved? Why does this hurt more?"

Lupin pressed a hand to his shoulder, "Because you know that he's been imprisoned. But Albus. He might survive this."

Dumbledore raised his eyes—but his gaze was unseeing. "You did not see him. You did not hear him." The voice in his head. How long had he ignored that? Had it been Severus crying out for help? How could he have ignored that?

Tears burnt his eyes and blurred his vision. "Why didn't he die? Why does this have to happen?"

* * *

There was movement at the end of the corridor—Dumbledore spotted a bed being wheeled in the opposite direction to him. His heart clenched—he knew the figure under those blankets. "Severus!" He leapt up with the grace of a man much younger, "I need to...is he going to live?" He cried after the doctor—but the guards simply stopped him again. "He is going to be isolated due to his condition."

"Isolated? Why? He is no threat!" Dumbledore shouted angrily, willing to hex this man into oblivion. "I need to see him."

"Not yet, Sir. I'm sorry, but he cannot be seen by anyone."

Dumbledore turned away, angry eyes meeting Lupin's concerned gaze. Before Dumbledore could react, Lupin had suddenly gasped for breath. "My potion. I forgot to take my potion."

Dumbledore blinked. It was not near the full moon in Remus' cycle, what was he doing?

Lupin stared at him for a moment, "Albus. I need help!" His gaze was direct.

Dumbledore suddenly realised. He whirled to face the guards, "You need to get him some medical attention!" When they did not react, Lupin let out a strangled cry and collapsed to the ground. "Go and find someone before he transforms!"

The guards, beginning to understand, hurried down the corridor. Lupin looked straight up at his friend, "Go on. Go and be with him. I'll tell them you have gone back to Hogwarts."

"Thank you, Remus." Dumbledore whispered gratefully.

Lupin smiled, "Albus. Make sure he survives. For your sake, if no one else's."

Dumbledore nodded, and disappeared in the direction Severus had been taken.

* * *

He opened the door and moved in to the small room. It was empty, except for the thin figure lying prostrate and still beneath stark white covers. Light was streaming in through a large window; there was a chair by the bed that Albus felt himself collapse into.

Here, in daylight, he could see the damage. He took a moment to look Snape up and down. There were scars across his face—and underneath, skin that seemed to be healed. Yellowing bruises lined his jawline and throat—and Dumbledore didn't even know how to describe his hands. Twisted and disfigured hardly described it. He felt a stab of pain as he realised how much losing his hands would have hurt the younger wizard. Being able to make Potions and use his fingers was very important to Severus.

He wanted to investigate the remaining wounds, knowing that there would be so many more beneath the white nightshirt and stiff blankets. But at the same time, his friend looked so peaceful. He reached out and gently stroked black hair—it was lank and greasy, unkempt and uncared for. "Oh, Severus..." He realised how lucky he was—"You came back to me." Suddenly happiness relieved the terrible agony of seeing his friend like this, and he wondered just how confused his emotions were. "My dear friend, I will make you better. Now, all you need to do is open you eyes."

The door behind him opened, and there was an exclamation. "Oh!"

Dumbledore frowned, turning to meet the newcomer.

A young woman in a nurse's outfit stood in the doorway. "You shouldn't be in here." She said softly. Her voice was characterised by an American lilt, which added a touch of kindness to her syllables. Dumbledore was struck by the brilliant blue irises accentuating her pretty face—they were similar to his. "I know. I just...I needed to be with him."

She wrung her hands, "I should ask you to leave." Her eyes fell on his hand, still resting against Snape's neck. "But I won't. According to the doctors, he might not have much time left. This might be one of the last times you will see him."

Dumbledore couldn't show how much the words hurt him. He sighed between his teeth, "Oh."

She frowned, "Aren't you Albus Dumbledore?" She asked suddenly, recognising him from the Daily Prophet.

Dumbledore nodded slowly, absorbed back in his young friend. "The one and only." His words were sarcastic—he would never forgive himself if Severus died here. He turned his attention back to the nurse, "And your name?"

"Oh. I'm Nurse Kati. I've been assigned to look after Mister Snape. I hope he gets better for you." Her words were genuine. "From what I've heard, he's been through a rough time."

Dumbledore nodded, "His company would not have been good. What happens now?"

Kati paused for a moment, "Well, we have to wait for him to wake up. It might be soon, it might be a while. Only then can we start to assess the damage—both physical and mental."

Dumbledore's head shot up, "Mental damage?"

Kati looked sad for a moment, "The doctors suggest that there could be something wrong mentally. He hardly responded to any pain in the operating theatre, when they stopped internal bleeding. They don't know what could have happened to him."

Dumbledore tightened his fist, nails digging into his palm, "I will fight to keep him alive."

There was a faint smile on her face, "That's good. He will need the help."

Dumbledore didn't let his gaze leave Snape's pale face, "I love him so much. He has to survive, just for that reason." He paused. "I never told him how much I loved him."

There was silence for a moment.

And then, a soft moan.

Dumbledore stared down at bleary black eyes, that stared up at the ceiling for the briefest of moments, flickered around the room, and then finally focused on Dumbledore's blue gaze.

"Where...am...I?"

* * *

_Kati, please don't hate me, I hope you like your character. I thought it was perfect for you, and your role is important throughout the next chapters. Thank you for reading, and I hope to hear from you in a review! SS19 x_


	5. Chapter 5

Broken Chapter Five

_He's awake! But what sort of state is he in? Well, we're about to find out..._

_I hope this chapter lives up to everyone's expectations! I love you all so much :') Especially the Master of World Advertising._

_Please may I also point out; this is not a romance fic. There will be no romance. Sorry...I write tearjerking hurt comfort. Not anything else. Yet. *evil laugh*_

* * *

"Where...am...I?"

A million emotions rushed over him at once. Relief, that there was life in those black eyes. Concern, at the way his voice was slow and stilted. Tears sprang to his eyes as he looked down at Severus, that cruel emotion Love gripping his heart in a tight fist. "Severus..." He wanted to sweep him up in his arms and hold him tight, but his happiness started to dwindle when he realised that there was...nothing in Snape's eyes.

No pain, granted. And yet...no spark of recognition either.

Quickly fear was present, and he struggled to speak again, "...Where..." His gaze flicked across the room, taking in Dumbledore and Nurse Kati, and seeming to see into every corner. Every muscle stiffened—as if he wanted to escape...but his limbs wouldn't obey. "I...have to...go..."

Dumbledore reached out to try to calm the younger man, "It's fine, you're safe here..."

Snape flinched away from his fingers, and Dumbledore tried to stop the hurt. "We rescued you...we've taken you to St Mungo's."

Confusion reigned across the pale face, "Where...is the Dark...Lord?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly, "He won't find you here." He swallowed, "I will make sure of that Severus. He will never hurt you again."

Snape's eyes fell on him—still no recognition—his voice sounded different. Afraid, this time. "But...I need...him."

A frown crossed Dumbledore's brow, "Need him? Severus, he hurt you!" What on earth was wrong here?

Snape shook his head slowly, "No...he helps..."

Dumbledore wanted to shake the younger man, unable to hear the soft dependency in Snape's voice. "Do you remember what he did to you?"

"Yes." The voice was much more definite this time. "...But that matters...not." He seemed so unsure of himself, "...I did wrong..."

Dumbledore leaned forward, unable to help himself. "Severus." His voice was low, "What did he to do you?"

Snape shied away slightly, "I don't...know who you...are. I don't want...to be here...I...the Dark Lord..."

The words hurt him more than seeing Snape in such a condition. He couldn't reply at once.

"It's all right, Mister Snape." Kati said calmingly, moving closer to the bed. "We are not here to hurt you; I'm just a nurse and...and..."

Dumbledore swallowed, "I'm your doctor. Doctor Dumbledore...we just need to know what damage has been done to you." He hated lying to Severus, but he wanted to allay the fears...and if he really did not remember who Dumbledore was then...was he staring at the shell of his old friend?

Severus turned his head slightly, eyes drooping closed. "He'll...find me...he'll never...leave me..."

Dumbledore screwed his own eyes shut, unwilling to show the anger and devastation Snape's careless words caused. "When I find Voldemort, I am going to destroy him." He murmured softly, ignoring Kati's flinch. He bent forward and gently stroked Severus' cheek, "We'll bring you back, Severus. We will."

* * *

Kati had long since left Dumbledore alone; he refused to leave Severus' side. Right now, the younger man recovering was all he could think about. He needed to pry deeper into the events of the past few weeks. Had Voldemort caused so much damage that the younger man had forgotten who he was, or was it instrumented...that Voldemort had forcefully violated a mind that relied on control, and had had his wicked way? How much torture had the other sustained? It had to be enough to destroy any life in those black eyes.

He had thought that, when Severus awoke, he would be grumpy and uncooperative. He had been dreading it, knowing how important the other's dignity was to him and unwilling to take it from him. But now...he would give anything for sarcasm. What was this going to be like?

Would he have to rebuild Severus piece by piece? That he could not bear. Physically, yes. Mentally...he was so proud of everything Severus had become, and how strong his mind was.

How much had been given away? That was important too. Had the Order been compromised? He would have thought that, the amount of time Severus had been in Voldemort's company, they would have had an attack. If Severus had given away the location of the Headquarters, or the names of the people in the Order.

And yet. Maybe he had not. Maybe he had clung to information...and had instead sacrificed everything else. Not knowing was destroying him.

There was a soft sigh from the bed. Albus turned from the window, with a small smile. "Good evening."

Snape let his eyes rest on him. "...Why...am I still...here?"

"How do you mean?" He grabbed his raging emotions and held them tight, unwilling to let them go. He would not let Severus' words hurt him; the boy had no idea the pain he was causing! It was not his fault.

"...I hurt..." He whispered, "Inside."

Nurse Kati had told him that Severus was still under the influence of many Pain-Relieving Potions. He would not be feeling any physical pain; when they did wear off, things would become difficult.

More so than they already were?

"Would you like me to fetch you anything?" This role was making things easier; by pretending to be a doctor, he could be more practical. He did not let emotion colour his words.

"...There is...nothing...anyone can...do." His response was slow, as if stringing words together was difficult for him.

"I beg to differ, Severus. You are alive; that much is a sign."

Dark eyes settled on his. "...That is...the...problem."

"Severus?" Urgency made his tone sharper; what was the boy trying to tell him?

"...I...don't want to...live anymore." Snape shook his head slowly, the movements seeming to pain him. "...He...took everything...I had..."

The words confirmed everything for him. Pity flooded the veins of his body, but Severus was not quite done.

The next words stunned Dumbledore into silence.

"I...want...to...die."

* * *

_Oh dear. We are only just scraping the surface too. He doesn't remember Dumbledore; or does he? Just how dependent is he on the Dark Lord? And what did we not see between Breaking and Broken, in that terrible month? The threads are unravelling; and at the end of it all, there will be one muddled, confused and broken wizard. Thank you for reading...update next week somewhen! _


	6. Chapter 6

**Broken Chapter Six**

_Severus dreams about his captivity...or is he dreaming?_

_Thank you for all your reviews, they mean so much to me! There will be one more update before my exams, and then after that there will be a bit of a wait._

_Please, please, please review if you have the time!_

_Kudos to His Lil Half Blood Princess for pointing out that yes, Dumbledore should be a healer, not a doctor. This mistake will be rectified from now on._

_Dedicated to Kati._

* * *

He was hovering between consciousness and unconsciousness. The Pain-Relieving potions gave him a feeling of nothingness. Where was he? Something about...a hospital? A healer...what?

It hurt his mind picturing the old man who had tried to help him.

Confusion started to settle on his befuddled mind.

But it did not matter.

He could linger in this dream like world, where everything clear and yet nothing was certain.

"_Severus..."_

There was a voice. A voice he knew too well. He could never judge the tone. Was it here to hurt him or help him?

He knew what the voice wanted. A sign of devotion. Dedication. He was glad his body would not respond. He hated kneeling.

"_Where were we?"_

He didn't remember. Time had become insignificant. Here, in this box, a box of dirt and iron, seconds blended into minutes. He had tried counting.

But then he had forgotten how to count.

For there was only one thing left in his life now.

"_I remember."_

That was the Dark Lord.

There were arms pulling him up into a half sitting, half lying position. His head lolled against soft robes hiding ethereally white skin.

"_Shhh."_

It was comfortable here. He liked it here.

"_Now. Let me see."_

Pressure on his mind. There were no shields left...so how was he fighting?

He just wanted to sleep.

"_You're hurting, Severus."_

There was pain. Always so much pain. He thought it had gone.

"_I can take that pain away."_

He relied so much on him. Comfort, company...

Completely dependent. He hated himself.

"...My Lord..."

"_Talk to me, Severus. Tell me things."_

There was something, deep inside, trying to tell him not to. A voice, calling to him. He would ignore it.

He had to ignore it.

The Dark Lord was the only one who could take the pain away.

"_Anything?"_

"...I..." His words were rough; when was the last time moisture had flecked his dry lips and soothed his burning throat?

"_Something about the Order, perhaps?"_

The Dark Lord had walked his mind so many times. Why did he need to repeat information?

But he dared not question.

"...The...Order..."

"_Some names, Severus?"_

The pain was terrible. It was everywhere; in his muscles, in his blood, in his bones. Every breath was agony; every heartbeat was torment. He rested his aching forehead against the soft robes, breathing in an all too familiar scent.

"...Names..." He just wanted to stay here. "Black."

"_Which one?"_

He was so tired.

"...Sirius..."

"_Good boy Severus. Well done."_

The words of praise he had come to crave. They brought more relief.

"_Now. Your reward. If you say please."_

Please. A word he dreaded. A word that showed just how weak he was.

"Please..." Yet the reward was greater than his slighted dignity.

What dignity did he have, anyway?

He was crumpled and beaten.

The Dark Lord owned him now. He could never get away.

He never wanted to leave the comforting Shadow again.

A muttered incantation in his ear. He could feel the presence in his mind, but would not fight it.

The pain faded into emptiness. He let his eyes drift closed, and a strange stupor controlled him. He knew that in this void, everything he had was vulnerable.

He could feel his mind being altered, broken down...rebuilt differently.

But the contented smile and relaxed muscles meant he did not care.

* * *

"He's sleeping again." Dumbledore said to Nurse Kati as she entered the room again. "He looks happy."

Severus lay dreaming, muscles relaxed and a small, content smile gracing his features. "I wonder what he is dreaming about."

"_You're mine, Severus Snape. I have broken you down until you are nothing in my hands. Everything you have and are is mine. As for the future...I have not yet finished. You will suffer for your betrayal; for when I return you mercifully to the old coot, your torment will begin once more. How will you cope, dear Severus, when you cannot remember who you are? How will you cope, darling child, when the one you profess to love hurts you? And how will you cope, my Severus, when you realise that I am not there to comfort you any more. How long will you last before you are begging to return to my care? Because, Severus Snape, I speak only the truth. You are broken. You cannot be fixed. The only question that remains is how long you will try to hang on, before you leave to come back to me?"_

* * *

_Awww, poor Severus. Next chapter will be much more exciting, I promise, but I needed to get my Voldy in there. Thank you for reading...and review please if you have the time! Update: Friday._


	7. Chapter 7

Broken Chapter 7

_I apologise for the long absence; of course, my exams were slightly more important than poor Severus. Only this once though._

_Thank you so much to all the kind reviews; they have kept me going this last month! I have missed everyone so much!_

_I am updating Broken in honour of a certain Miss Kati, who has made this quite amazing video for the Breaking trilogy—and I suggest you check it out! You can find the link on the SeverusSnape19 FaceBook page; please go and have a lookie!_

_Just to remind you, in the last chapter, Severus was dreaming about his captivity with Voldemort—but the Dark Lord still has a lot of power over him...now he is awake, and the Pain Relieving Potions are wearing off..._

* * *

"Do you understand me, sir?" Kati said softly to Albus, who nodded. "I understand."

Here then was the true test. Kati had been informed that the Pain Relieving Potions were about to wear off—and when they did, the pain would be severe. Although some of his body had started to heal; his hands, still wrapped in bandages, were almost human once more; long, dirtied and blackened finger nails were protruding from underneath the folds of the soft white material, he would still be in much pain; and they were not quite sure how he would react when he was fully conscious.

Right now, the younger wizard was still dreaming—but his forehead was furrowed, his eyes screwed up, fingers twisting the blanket. He was in the grips of a terrible nightmare—the silence in the small hospital room punctuated by his cries; pleas for someone to stop and begging for something to take the pain away.

Albus was tense—he could feel it. He looked down at his hand and saw his fists clenched. He was angry; but he was not sure what at. In his sleep, Severus was careless; his words were like knife blades falling upon Albus' skin. He was muttering about things that Albus did not understand; yet he seemed aware of who he was, and what was happening around him.

What had happened.

"He's waking up." Kati said softly to Albus, who swallowed his dry throat. How bad would it be?

Severus looked up at the ceiling for a long moment. His breathing was rapid and shallow. He frowned, biting his lip.

Albus released a breath he had not noticed he was holding, waiting for the first reaction to the pain.

Snape raised one hand, and looked at it for a long moment. His fingers were trembling violently. He pulled the hand to his chest, a small moan forcing itself from between his lips.

Without warning, his whole body seemed to spasm. His limbs jerked repeatedly, his legs trapped beneath the covers. He cried out—more from a lack of control than pain.

Albus gripped the end of the bedstead tightly in one fist, clenching his fingers until his knuckles turned white. He breathed in steeply as Severus screamed again—this was too much for him to bear...

Severus moaned, pulling himself into an upright position. His eyes were open but almost unseeing.

"_I still control you, dearest Severus. Crucio!"_

He winced, curling up into a ball, trying to steady his arms and legs. "Stop!"

"_You have run away from me."_

"Leave me be." Severus sobbed, "Please..."

"_Why don't you just kill yourself? You are worthless."_

Severus scratched at his Dark Mark angrily, drawing blood, "I hate you!"

"_No, Severus. You hate yourself. Or at least...you will hate yourself. Until we meet again, beloved __**servant**__. Crucio!"_

"Severus!" Albus crossed to him, pulling his hand away from his Dark Mark, "Don't do that."

Severus shuddered again, wrenching himself away from Albus, "Kill me. Please, somebody kill me..." He stared at his own limbs which were not answering his command, "This is too much..."

Albus knew exactly what he meant; seeing Severus so emotionally shattered was more painful than any physical torture. Why this obsession with death; what could Voldemort have possibly done to him, to make him so weak?

Severus crumpled onto the mattress, tearing at the blankets with his hands. "Let me go!" He shouted, to nothing. No one answered him. He tore his fingers across his arm again, happy when red specks appeared across the white material beneath him.

"Severus!" Albus grabbed his arms and pulled them in front of him, restraining his limbs. "You need to stop hurting yourself!" He knew his voice trembled; Severus stared at him for a long moment. His legs moved of their own accord; Albus could see just how much this was upsetting his younger friend.

He looked to Kati for a brief moment, "We'll hold you still..."

Severus shook his head angrily, "No, I have my dignity!"

Kati gripped Severus' ankles, even when the other tried to struggle. He tried to yank his hands away from Albus, but the older wizard would not let go. "Let go of me!" Severus shouted.

"I can't." Albus whispered, "I'm sorry. You need to hold still."

"I hate you, let go, don't touch me!" Severus was violent in his movements, but both Albus and Kati showed determination; and he finally fell still. "You imprison me like he did. He said you would do this to me." Black eyes stared into Albus', filled with powerful hatred. "He said you would."

Albus realised that Severus recognised him, "What?" He felt relief flood his veins, even though Severus' words were not positive.

"You're the same as him." Severus muttered, "You hurt me, incarcerate me, torment me. I want to go back to the Dark Lord!"

"Why?" Albus demanded, wanting a straight answer to this request; how could Severus want to be with Voldemort?

Severus paused for a long moment. "I..." He trembled in Albus' grasp, "I need him. Let me go back to him! Let me go back to him, or let me die!"

"I won't do that." Albus shook his head, "You will not return to his shadow, Severus, I will ensure it."

"I hate you. I hate you more than him. You are nothing to me." Severus answered bitterly, "Leave me alone!"

The words were too much for Albus, and he felt the anger overwhelm him. "As you wish." He let go of Severus' wrists, "If you truly want to die, then I am sure you will find some way of carrying out the deed. But Voldemort cannot find you here." He ignored Severus' flinch, "But I will protect you no longer, Severus!" He stormed from the room, taking a firm grasp of Kati's elbow and taking her with him.

They closed the door—and he made a display of locking it.

If Severus truly wanted to die, if he truly wanted to return to the Dark Lord, even after all the trouble Albus had been through, all the torment he had suffered trying to rescue him, then Albus no longer cared.

He turned away, threw himself down in a convenient chair, buried his head in his hands.

And sobbed.

* * *

_Update soon; I promise. This was hard to write. It's been a long time, so apologies if it's not very good. All my love, SS19._


	8. Chapter 8

Broken, Chapter 8

_**This chapter is sweet. I hope. I needed this...I have missed writing Severus and Albus like this. I need to go back to writing one shots, I think!**_

_**Hope you enjoy; Kati, don't hate me too much, but I cannot get ALL your Albus hating into one story. :)**_

* * *

"How dare he?" Dumbledore ranted, "What is wrong with him? Does he even know what he is saying? Is he saying it deliberately?" He had gone from being upset to hurt very quickly.

Kati was stood by the door to Severus' room, wishing that the older wizard would be quieter; she could see the young patient sat on the bed, listening to Dumbledore's every ill spoken word. "I think he's just confused..."

"Confused? He knows what Voldemort did to him! He knows that he was tortured! Perhaps he surrendered more than just information? Maybe he surrendered his soul, too!" Dumbledore was angry, very angry. "Betrayal. Maybe he has betrayed all of us."

Kati got the impression that he was being deliberately loud, so Severus could hear every word. This angered her; "Sir; he has been through a very traumatic experience!"

Dumbledore stopped pacing and turned to look at her. His eyes burned with blue fire and suddenly his presence was imposing and intimidating. She would have backed off slightly, if she had not been pressed back against the wall. "Trauma?" He murmured, his voice suddenly calm. "Do you have any idea what _I _have been through, these past weeks? I had to stand back and watch people stop searching for him. I had to identify the body that lay in that ditch—I had to bury and mourn for the man I called my son!" His voice trembled violently and he swallowed, "I now have to come to the terms with the fact he is alive, and I do not understand why I am not happy about that, but also that he does not even remember who I am!" He stopped, staring at her for a long moment. "There are many forms of trauma, Nurse." He turned away, and disappeared down the corridor.

Kati exhaled slowly through her teeth, relieved.

* * *

Severus pulled his knees tighter to his chest. He felt vulnerable. He was trying to remember..well...almost anything from before his captivity.

This Dumbledore, then. Who was he? Why did he not remember him? Why was there no recollection whatsoever?

Why was there so much emptiness inside his mind?

He tried to concentrate.

"_You think I am afraid?"_

"_To let the past rest? Yes!"_

Pain lanced across his forehead and he cried out, "Stop!" The pain was familiar...but he couldn't place it. His last few weeks had been spent in so much agony that everything had become blurred. He rubbed a bandaged hand across his forehead. What was wrong with him?

The door opened and the nurse came into the room and smiled at him apologetically. "I'm sorry if you overhead Mr. Dumbledore earlier. He's a little upset."

Severus looked at her, "He's not a Healer, is he?"

She shook her head. "No. He's Headmaster of Hogwarts school—and a great wizard." She was carrying a glass of water. "Here. You need to drink this."

He looked at it worriedly, "What is it?"

"Just water."

"_Just water." A breath next to his ear. The goblet was placed against his lips, and he allowed a sip of the liquid to pass between them. "Laced with a little...Stay Awake potion, of course. I need you awake for tonight's...entertainment." He was so desperate to keep soothing his dry throat and terrible headache that he downed the drink—ignoring the soft laugh in the background._

He jolted back to the present. "No." He shook his head, "I won't drink it. I won't let you hurt me..."

She held up a hand calmingly, "It's just water—honestly."

"_Not so smart now, are we, Severus?" Not the Dark Lord's voice—no, he was letting others play with him...and he couldn't even fall unconscious...why wouldn't someone free him from this?_

He backed off, and instead, she put the glass down on the table next to his bed. "There. You can have some when you are ready." She was about to leave when he spoke again, "Why don't I remember him?"

She turned, "That's a good question. How much do you remember?"

"A little—teaching, I remember an older lady who looked after me at Hogwarts...but...I don't...know who I am. Why did he call me his son?"

"I assume he cares for you." Kati perched on the bed next to him, "We all saw the image in the Daily Prophet, after all." She smiled at him jovially, "You were front page news, that day."

He tried to smile too—but instead he heard the voice in his ear. _"Because look! You're front page news!" _He saw, once again, the page turn, and for a moment, the photograph was there in front of him. He saw a figure, bent, kneeling, weeping—the pain shot across his forehead again, and he winced.

The picture was gone.

"Are you all right?" Kati asked softly, and he nodded, "Just a headache."

There was a long pause. "Don't let him upset you, Mr. Snape. He is just in shock—he never expected to see you again."

"I want to go home." Severus murmured finally, "When can I go home?"

She shrugged, "Whenever you feel up to it."

He moved slightly, "I'm scared. I don't like this. I feel so empty...except for the pain. So much pain."

She patted his arm, and he didn't flinch away. "Things will get better, Mr Snape. They will. You-Know-Who cannot find you here; just allow time to work its magic." She smiled kindly at him, before staring to leave. "I'll leave you to rest."

He nodded. "Nurse? It's...it's just Severus." He said softly, "I prefer being called Severus."

"In that case, it's Kati." She opened the door, "I will come back later—we'll see if we can get you moved back to Hogwarts."

After she had gone, he wrapped his arms around himself, shivering slightly.

"_I will take everything you hold dear, Severus. I will steal all that means anything to you. Starting with that fool that you dare to name the greatest wizard of all time..."_

He tried to focus on the words. He needed to remember!

_Not yet, Severus. _A voice, much closer to his ear. He felt as though there was someone else, there, in the room, with him. _You do not need to see this yet...you do not need to understand this...not yet..._

"Leave me alone." He spoke aloud, feeling the courage fill his veins, "I am free from you now."

_As you will soon learn, Severus, you are never free of me. Don't forget it. Resistance is hopeless._

He moaned, frowning angrily. He was so confused! He rested his head back against the headboard, wanting to sleep.

There was movement by the door. Dumbledore had stepped into the room, looking decidedly uncomfortable He played with his fingers for a moment, "I'm sorry if you heard what I said, earlier, Severus. I...was out of order. I'd forgotten what a terrible time you've had." He came closer, "And...if you want it...I'd like to help you. I need to help you. Even if we have to rebuild our relationship from scratch, Severus, I will stay by you. You mean so much to me. I have learnt, these past months, that you are such an important part of my life." He paused, as if the words were difficult to find, "I lost you, before. I cannot bear to lose you again."

Severus smiled faintly at him, "I understand. I'm sorry for making you upset."

Albus shook his head, "Don't apologise." He sat in the chair next to Severus' bed, "But we could talk? About what has happened?" He clasped his hands together in his lap, "I do need to know what has happened to you. I want to see if I can fix you."

Severus looked away, at the window, "I..."

"Do you trust me, Severus?" Albus leant forward.

"Yes." He gasped, pressing a hand to his forehead. "Can you make this stop?"

"What?"

"The pain in my head. It's...so...whenever I think...it's almost as if...he is stopping me thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Albus asked suddenly.

Severus raised reddened black eyes to Dumbledore, "You."

Albus nodded slightly, "I thought so. Do you remember Legilimency, Severus?"

"_Let me in, Severus."_

"Yes..."

"Will you allow me to see what he has done to you?" Albus asked softly.

"_Everything you have will be mine..."_

"I..." He paused, thinking about the pain the Dark Lord had caused. "I don't..."

"I can help." Albus said earnestly, "I can help you. Please, let me help you."

Severus nodded slowly, "What do I need to do?"

"You just need to trust me. I won't hurt you, I promise." Albus reached a hand and gently touched it against Severus' bandaged fingers, "Look at me."

The blue eyes met black.

Instantly, Albus knew that damage had been done; there was nothing there to protect Severus' mind. No shields, not even the smallest resistance. Had Voldemort taken that much from him?

And then, there was the darkness. He felt almost blind. He couldn't see anything.

_Well hello, Dumbledore._

"Tom." He felt the anger well in his chest. "Let him go."

_I haven't finished yet._

"He is under my protection."

_He doesn't remember you._

"He will."

_He can still hear me. He listens to me. He knows I offer what you cannot give._

"And what is that?"

_Relief. He spent such a long time in my company...crying out for you...and yet...you did not come...did you?_

"Stop it."

_He was so easy, in the end. I only had to take his last defence away. You._

"I will not let you hurt him again."

_He relies on me, completely. You wait, Dumbledore. I have only just begun._

Enraged, Dumbledore did not respond. He opened his eyes—and Severus lay collapsed on the blanket in front of him, body curled up, both hands clamped to his temples. "Severus!" He gripped Severus' shoulders, turning him back toward him. "Listen to me. Don't let him do this. Try to fight him."

Severus shook his head, sobbing slightly from the pain. "Stop...my Lord...please..."

"Severus. Look at me. Look at me." He turned Severus' head slightly. The moment he obeyed, he forced the image into the younger man's mind.

"_Severus!" He caught the younger man as he swayed on his feet, seeing the signs of exhaustion and torture. "Dear boy, what has he done to you?"_

"_Not much..." The response was brief, "I need...sit..."_

_Albus helped him over to the chair, "There. There now. Was it difficult?"_

"_No more than usual." He paused, "Headmaster, he is moving quicker now." Sitting down, Severus had gained some more stability._

"_I don't want to know. Not yet. Give yourself some time to recover first, child, and then we shall talk." He sat down on the sofa next to Severus, handing him a small beaker of Firewhiskey. "Here. Sip this."_

_Severus looked at his shaking hands, "I can't..."_

_Albus gently lifted the glass to Severus' mouth, "You are so brave, Severus."_

_Taking a mouthful of the amber liquid, Severus looked at him for a moment, "Only for you."_

"_And the Light." Albus supplied, taking the glass away. _

"_No. I fight for you, remember? We have to bring him down."_

"_Then don't, ever, do anything silly. We can't lose you, Severus. I can't lose you."_

_Severus shifted position on the sofa, resting his head against the back of the sofa. "You are sentimental in your old age, Headmaster."_

_Albus smiled, putting one arm around Severus' shoulders and leaning close, "Only for you, dear boy. Rest."_

Albus let the memory disappear—and waited for Severus' reaction.

There was a long pause.

"I don't remember that..." Severus murmured.

"But you will." Albus reached out and gently stroked Severus' cheek, "I promise you, Severus, you will."

Severus was quiet again, but he did not move out of Albus' reach. "I hope so. Because...I might not remember but...but I know...that I need you too." He watched Albus for a moment, seeing the relief that touched the blue irises.

And for one glorious moment, he too was relaxed.

For one second, one fleeting second, his world was painless...

* * *

_I'm going to end this chapter here; next chapter, Severus moves back to Hogwarts. But all is not well—because Albus' intervention has left a certain Dark Wizard angry._

_Very angry._

_Poor Severus..._


	9. Chapter 9

Broken Chapter Nine

_There is a line in this story that gives away much about the coming story. If you spot it, be warned—Broken is not supposed to be a pretty story._

* * *

They took him back to Hogwarts the next day. The chief Healer had decided that Severus would be happier at Hogwarts; he had briefed Poppy on how to look after him, earning him indignant looks from the matron, who had dealt with more of Severus' injuries than she liked to let on.

They hoped that familiar settings would help his memory to return.

Only Albus and Severus knew that the memory loss was not accidental—Albus hoped that by Severus regaining his strength, he would be able to fight Voldemort off, and become who he had used to be.

He knew it would not be easy. But he was ready for the challenge.

Just how broken could Severus be—he was back now, so he could not be unfixable.

Albus Dumbledore would find a way to fix him.

Albus took him by the arm and helped him up the spiral staircase. To avoid the rumours that he knew were rife around Hogwarts, Severus would stay in the Headmaster's office. Albus had told the members of staff that he was intending to stay by Severus until the other had made a full recovery. They understood this; he was grateful for their kind nods and offers of help.

Severus looked around the eccentric office with an intense gaze. He was leaning heavily on Albus, but...when Albus looked at him, he saw more of the old Severus. The Severus that he missed so greatly.

"I..." Severus murmured, turning to face Albus, "I remember here...I think..."

"That's good, Severus." Albus appraised. "Now, sit yourself here for a moment. Poppy—do you remember Poppy?—is on her way up to see you."

Severus remembered the kind matron, who had a temper that could keep even him in check. He rested back against the red sofa, the image before his eyes dissolving into...

"_I am tired." Severus announced, dropping down onto the ruby red sofa, closing his eyes. _

_Behind him, he knew Albus smiled. "And irritated, I see."_

"_Only at Black." Severus replied, "He pushes me too far. One day I will..."_

"_No you will not." Albus answered quickly, coming to stand in front of Severus, holding a tea tray, "Tea?"_

"Severus? Would you like a cup of tea?" Albus asked, standing in front of him. He was holding a tea tray. "You used to drink a lot of tea."

"I hate tea." Severus answered.

"Yes, I know. But I used to insist that you drank it before you went to spy on Voldemort." Albus smiled affectionately, "And you always did drink it."

Severus stared at him for a long moment, "I don't remember any of this. You. What I used to do. Why I used to do it..." His voice sounded anxious.

"It will come back to you, Severus. It will. You are on the mend now."

There was a knock at the door. "Come in, Poppy."

She entered the room, dressed in her matron's uniform—"Severus Snape." She appraised, "What a fright you gave us all." She looked at Albus, "Only one man could come back from the dead and then sit so calmly." She crossed to him, touching his hand, "I am glad you are safe, young man."

Severus smiled at her, a full smile, "Thank you, Poppy. I am...pleased to be back."

"Now, you will be staying in this office to keep you safe. The Headmaster and I will watch over you—and don't worry, your memory will return, I am sure. You just need to give it time. So. Have you eaten?"

Severus wanted to respond—but found he couldn't. Suddenly, everything was very cold. Sweat was running down his back. His body ached and burned.

_Severus, Severus, Severus. Running away to Hogwarts will not save you._

What was it Albus had done? He had told the Dark Lord to leave him alone, and he had. He tried. He thought the words. _Leave me alone._

_Oh. Are you trying to fight back? You really have no idea, do you, most beloved servant. You cannot fight me. I own you, remember?_

_You are nothing to me. I am safe here. You cannot enter Hogwarts._

_Why would I need to enter Hogwarts physically, when I am already here?_

He wanted to look around. He could not be here. Could he? Panic grabbed his heart, L_eave me be, please, leave me be._

_This time, Severus, begging for your life will make no difference. Can you imagine how much pain your precious Dumbledore will be in as you die for a second time?_

_I will not..._

_Will not what? Give in? You said that last time, didn't you?_

_...Stop..._

_What was that, Severus? I can't quite hear you..._

_...I...hurt..._

_Yes, you do. And you will continue to do so, until you throw yourself at my feet._

_Ne...ver..._

_I think you have a fever, Severus. Sleep well..._

"Severus!" Albus grabbed the younger man before he fell from the sofa. He almost drew his hand away again, "He's so hot!" He exclaimed, "Poppy, what's wrong with him?"

Poppy pulled back one of Severus' closed eyelids to peer into black eyes, "It's a fever." She looked to Albus, "We need to get him to bed."

"How could he...he was fine...a moment ago, he was fine!" Albus lifted the younger man into his arms, holding him tight, "He was fine..."

They rested him on the bed, just as Severus cried out, "Stop! Please! I don't want to do this! Take it away!"

"He will be hallucinating." Poppy explained, "It's a symptom of fever." She reached out to touch Albus' arm, "I will go to the Hospital Wing and pick up some potions. Stay with him."

"I can't leave him! Not like this!" Albus sat on the bed next to Severus, who was curled in a ball, pale and sweating. "Will he...hallucinations...right..."

Poppy recognised his stricken expression as one of terrible fear, "Albus." She murmured, "You will have to prepare yourself."

She paused as Severus cried out again.

"We are in for a rough night."

* * *

_And we, dear readers, are in for a rough two chapters. See you later! SS19 xx_


	10. Chapter 10

**Broken Chapter Ten**

_This was hard. Very hard. Those of you who read my other stories...will know why...I hate using one of my characters for this..._

_Dedicated to Kati. I love you, girl._

* * *

"Shush, Severus. You need to sleep." He brushed a hand across a damp forehead, seeing fading bruises along the hairline. Never had he seen a face so devoid of colour. He pulled away, lowering his tired body back into the armchair.

So far, Severus had lain in bed, shaking and whispering under his breath. Albus could not sleep from fear of awakening and seeing Severus unmoving and still—so he sat and watched over the younger man.

Poppy had warned him that the night would be rough—fevers always were. Severus was, so far, just dreaming.

Albus hated to think what would happen when he started to hallucinate...and he almost wanted the younger man to stay in this semiconscious state, where it was only the invisible things that could hurt him.

He reached out and gently took Severus' hand, wanting to squeeze the fingers so he could show Severus that was someone by his side—but he didn't want to hurt his friend any further. So he simply held the hand and watched over Severus.

_

* * *

_

There was a hand wrapped around his broken and twisted fingers. Slowly the pressure tightened, and he moaned.

"_Such a pretty sound, Severus. Unfortunately, you have shown us that you are not so pretty after all." His fingers were crushed together, and he fought the urge to scream. He opened his eyes and stared up into silver irises, hard with anger and cruelty. _

"_Lucius...I..."_

"_You betrayed us, Severus." Lucius answered, his voice a harsh whisper against Severus' ear. "After all the time, lying and pretending, you have turned out to be a traitor." He let Severus' hand fall back to the cold floor. "You are...dirt, Severus Snape." _

_Lucius stamped his booted foot down onto Severus' hand, and the other screamed. Over the cries of agony, Lucius laughed, "Dirt needs to be cleaned, Severus."_

"_Lucius! Please!" He sobbed, "Don't do this!"_

* * *

"Severus! Stop!" Albus held out his hands calmingly, but although Severus' eyes were wide open and staring, he knew that Severus could not see him.

* * *

"_Well, aren't you going to try to run from me, Severus? I have been given express permission by the Dark Lord to spend some...quality time with you. Try to run from me."_

_Severus knew that even trying to obey was hopeless. His body had long since stopped working when he commanded it to._

"_Go on. Get up."_

"_I can't..."_

"_Well, you and I are going to try."_

* * *

"Poppy!" Albus grabbed Poppy's arm as soon as she entered the room, "What am I supposed to do?" He pointed to where Severus was sat against the headboard of the bed, back straight, eyes still open. He was trembling. "He won't wake up. Make him wake up."

Poppy rested a hand on Albus' arm, "I can't. Wake him up, you risk damage. It's just the fever."

"He is reliving things I don't want him to relive! Make it stop!" Albus was afraid and anguished, "Please, Poppy, I can't see him go through this all over again."

* * *

"_Get up!" Lucius pulled Severus to his feet and threw him toward the wall. Having to use his broken hands, Severus caught himself before he fell again. He slowly turned to face Lucius. "Don't do this." He managed to whisper._

_Lucius pointed his wand at him. "Tell me why I should spare you any more torment, Severus. Look at you. You are...nothing."_

_Severus had no answer to that. He simply stared at Lucius' eyes. _

"_The Dark Lord is angry, Severus. The rest of us are being punished for your mistake." _

"_I...never meant for that..."_

_Lucius snarled, "Are you seeking redemption for your actions, Severus? For, believe me, you are well past redemption now." He waved his wand, and Severus felt the invisible knife slash his chest. _

"_Please...Lucius..." He sunk to his knees, his body rejecting so much pain._

"_Don't beg me, Severus. Don't you dare." Lucius moved closer, pressing his wand to the soft skin beneath Severus' chin. "Get up."_

* * *

Albus crossed to Severus when the younger man cried out, "I can't!"

"Severus. Please. Wake up." He wanted to shake the younger man, but the fear and torment evident on his friend was enough to freeze him in his tracks. What had Severus been through?

* * *

"_Yes, you can. I want to humiliate you, Severus. You have humiliated us."_

"_You...don't understand, Lucius." Severus spat, ignoring the blood that stained his saliva. _

_Lucius recoiled. "You're a disgusting creature. What don't I understand?"_

_Severus stared at Lucius, black eyes alive with fire. Passion and pride touched his next syllables. "Albus Dumbledore will defeat you."_

* * *

Albus had been about to stroke Severus' cheek when the boy had uttered his name. He thought, for a second, that he had heard wrong. "Severus?"

_

* * *

_

Lucius laughed at him, but Severus remained defiant. "You are pathetic Severus. He cannot win. All the information that we need was inside your mind. The Dark Lord has already taken that."

_Severus pulled his body away from Lucius, "He does not have what he needs. Why do you think he is so angry? Tell me, Lucius." He paused for breath, "Tell me, your recent raids. Trying to find the Order. Has he gained what he wanted?"_

_He knew the answer already. Lucius did not need to respond._

_Lucius drew his wand back slightly, staring at Severus, "What are you suggesting?"_

_Severus simply smiled at him. "You are on the wrong side."_

_With a cry of rage, Lucius forced Severus back to his knees with the Cruciatus._

_He didn't cry out._

"_Why won't you scream?" Lucius was angry now. Severus glanced at him, from behind curtains of greasy hair, "Try and make me scream. You will fail."_

"_You are in no position to challenge me, Severus!" Lucius reigned in his temper, "I could hurt you. So very badly. You know that."_

_Severus raised an eyebrow at him, "What else can you do?" His voice trembled just slightly, "The Dark Lord has tried everything."_

_Something strange crossed Lucius' face; an emotion that was not hate or revulsion. Severus could not identify it. It could not be sympathy or concern, could it? _

_It was gone in that second._

"_You were my friend, Severus." Lucius grabbed Severus by the front of his bloodied robes and slammed him against the wall, so that his bones reverberated in his skeleton. "I trusted you. I cared for you." Lucius threw him back to the ground. He struck out with his whiplash spell again, three times, waiting until blood was dripping steadily onto the ground. Severus backed off slightly. _

"_You betrayed me. A Malfoy does not take kindly to betrayal."_

_Severus was cowering. He pulled his broken hands closer to his chest, hearing the warning in Lucius' voice. He did not speak._

"_Everything we worked for. Everything we did together. Does that mean so little to you?" It was a rhetorical question—and even if he had wanted to respond, Severus would not have been able to as Lucius' cruel Cruciatus crippled him once more. "But of course. It must do, for you to return and crawl at Dumbledore's feet."_

_Severus gasped for breath. Pain was consuming him, and his whole body was crying out for a release. Darkness was threatening. How he wanted to simply slip away... "I did not crawl." He spat._

"_The Dark Lord will make you beg. You will give him the information that he needs. You have no choice, Severus. He will not stop until you lie, broken, before him, and he owns every thought inside your mind."_

_Severus raised his head, clinging to consciousness for just a moment more. He swallowed the blood and the bile rising at the back of his throat. "I...have a message...for him..." His black eyes narrowed slightly, "While...I still have...breath...in...my body...then I will not...betray Albus Dumbledore..." He felt his body nearly collapse, "He...can do what he likes...break the body...steal my mind...split my soul...but...I will not give in...to him...not this time..."_

_Lucius stared at him, and the image before his eyes began to darken. He could collapse into nothingness, the welcome hold of unconsciousness..._

_He was comfortable for maybe three seconds, before the harshest word was uttered._

"_Enervate."_

_And he was jerked back into this Hell once again._

* * *

Finally the boy's eyes closed. His breathing was rough from the terror he had experienced through his dream. Albus was sat on the side of the bed, shaking almost as much as Severus.

Poppy knelt next to him, touching his arm, "Are you all right?"

Albus couldn't stop trembling. "It's real, isn't it...he...really was..." The harsh reality was hurting him. "I can't..." He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. He could not rid himself of the image of Severus, collapsed at the mercy of other people, yet still brave enough to fight.

"_I will not betray Albus Dumbledore..."_

Albus clenched one fist, feeling sick to his stomach. When he found Tom Riddle, he was going to destroy him.

Until then, he could only watch over Severus. He could only reach out and stroke a pale, cold face. "I'm here, Severus. I won't leave you..."

And that was when the muttering, crying and shouting started again. "My Lord..."

_

* * *

_

Bad Lucius! Very bad! Go back to the nice character that you are in Perfectly Imperfect!

_And if you thought this was bad...well...in the next chapter, Severus decides it is time to tell the Dark Lord that he is not going to give him the information that he desires, no matter what Voldemort does to him._

_Which is possibly...his biggest mistake..._

_I look forward to your comments, and your company on the rest of this fine journey! Much love, as always, SS19 xx._


	11. Chapter 11

**_Broken, Chapter Eleven_**

**_Dedicated to all the readers of Broken. Thank you._**

* * *

"I want to see." Albus murmured, listening to Severus cry and watching him writhe underneath the blankets. "I want to see what torments him so."

Poppy, on the other side of the bed, glanced at him. "I don't recommend it. We do not know what state his mind is in."

Albus leaned forward, "I need to understand what has been done to him. Will it hurt him?"

"No." Poppy answered, "Not if you are careful. But...Albus, you don't know what you might see. It might be...unpleasant, for you. He has been tortured—you do not know to what extent."

"Don't do this!" Severus interrupted their conversation, his voice an anguished shriek.

"I have to, Poppy. I have to know."

"Very well." Poppy smiled, just slightly, "I knew you would not take no for an answer. Be careful."

Albus nodded. He brushed one hand across Severus' forehead, and murmured the incantation beneath his breath. "Legilimens."

_

* * *

_

They threw Severus onto the ground, where he landed in a crumpled heap. Albus looked at him—he saw the signs of torture. Hands, twisted and bent beyond recognition. His hair was unkempt and Albus could see scalp where chunks of the black had been torn away. His robes—teaching robes, Albus thought with a stab of pain—tattered, stained with dried blood and more that was fresh. He watched as Severus bravely raised his head—saw the bruises that coloured the ghostly skin and the brown blood that had collected after a lip had been cut too many times. He was so thin and weary and weak in appearance that Albus thought his heart would break all over again. His brave Severus...

_They were in a living room. There were dark red carpets and curtains, fine furniture and ornate walls. Severus ignored all this—and instead looked at Voldemort._

_Albus followed his gaze, seeing Tom Riddle stood a few metres away, wand in one hand and a cruelly mocking expression plastered on his face. Albus felt a rush of hatred quite unlike anything he had felt before._

"_Severus. Good morning. I trust you slept well?" The tone was sarcastic—it was clear that Severus had not slept in days. "Or perhaps not. I have heard a terrible rumour that someone is lacing your water with many different potions, keeping you awake." Voldemort shook his head, as if horrified. Severus simply stared at him. _

_Voldemort smiled, "So good of you to join us."_

_Albus watched as Severus glanced into the shadows—yes, there were others present. Bellatrix, Malfoy...Albus recognised a few. The rest he could name from Severus' information. The presence of the other Death Eaters had clearly made Severus a little uneasy—Albus wondered why._

"_I hear you had a message for me, Severus. Would you like to repeat it to me?" Voldemort took a step towards his prisoner, who watched him for a moment longer with narrowed eyes._

"_I am so longing to hear it." Voldemort folded his arms into his cloak._

"_Go to hell." Severus responded. _

_There were jeers from the circle surrounding the incapacitated Severus. Albus felt a thrill of pride. _

_Voldemort simply laughed, "You do not seem to realise what a predicament you are in, Severus. This amuses me. Lucius told me that you suggested that you would "not betray Albus Dumbledore" while you had breath in your body. Did anyone ever tell you, Severus, that the line between bravery and foolishness is so very thin?"_

_Severus continued to stare at Voldemort._

"_Now. You must have noticed that we have company, Severus. I feel that it is rather...selfish...of me, to make your torment such an exclusive activity. I know that dear Bella has been longing to...speak to you..." _

_More laughs from the circle. This time, Severus smiled faintly too, "If you cannot succeed in taking information from me, my Lord," The title was sarcastic, "Then I doubt any of your other followers can." He paused for breath. "And you have failed once."_

_Everyone turned to look at Voldemort. The Dark Wizard straightened his back, every muscle seeming to stiffen. "Dear Severus." He said softly, "Dear, dear Severus." He swept toward the younger man, kneeling in front of him. "What has he done to you? Why do you cause yourself more pain just to defend him? He doesn't even know you are alive. He thinks you are dead!"_

_Guilt flooded Albus' chest. This was after the body had been discovered. He should not have stopped looking._

"_I will always be loyal to him." Severus' response was quiet._

_Voldemort gripped Severus' chin between two fingers, staring straight into his eyes, "You're a fool, Severus Snape. A stupid fool." His grip was tight—but Severus did not flinch._

"_Albus Dumbledore will defeat you." Severus leaned close, "He is the greatest wizard of all time, and what is more, you know it to be true. You are afraid of him."_

"_Tell me, Severus. When is Albus Dumbledore's birthday?" _

_Albus looked at Voldemort—in a very close proximity to his younger friend. Why was that important? It would make no difference to the war!_

_Severus opened his mouth to respond._

_Then he frowned._

_Albus looked at him, this was peculiar. Severus had always celebrated the older wizard's birthday since he had begun teaching at Hogwarts again._

"_You're forgetting him, Severus." Voldemort whispered harshly, "My magic is working."_

"_No." Severus shook his head, but Albus detected the slither of fear in his worn voice._

"_What happens to you when he is lost? What happens when you forget him completely? Will you be so strong? How could you be? He is your last defence. When that fails you...then you will be mine for the taking, Severus Snape." He pulled away from Severus, holding up a hand. "But! More on that later. I have something...special planned for you, Severus...which will tear any remaining resistance away. However." He resumed his position at the head of the circle. "I always find that, as a torturer, it is much more entertaining to torment someone when they are able to resist. Don't we agree?" He looked around the circle, seeing the nods._

_Albus felt the hate and fear and anxiety drive into his chest. That was why Severus was concerned. This was becoming a group torture session. He wanted to withdraw from the memory—but something made him need to stay. This was the day everything had changed—he could guess that simply from the triumph that was evident in Voldemort's voice. What ever he had planned was going to destroy Severus—and make him the terrified and broken wreck that lay in Dumbledore's office._

_It would hurt him, but he would stay._

"_And you do put on a fine show when being tortured, Severus. It is one of your...more endearing characteristics. I wonder if anyone here will be able to make you scream—the way I have?" _

_Albus had never hated a human being more than Tom Riddle in his life. He was constantly laughing at Severus—and he knew that he was close to being victorious. He would defeat Voldemort, just for what he was doing here._

"_Bella. Considering you are always so enthusiastic, would you like to begin? I want the name of an Order member, before this session is finished." He folded his arms, "Succeed, and you will be rewarded. Fail, and you will be punished." He turned and seated himself in an armchair, where he had a very good view of Severus. He watched his prisoner for a long moment, as Bellatrix stepped forward, toying with her wand._

_Severus' eyes lingered on the Dark Lord—yet Albus did not know what emotion he could see in his friend's face. Was it fear? It was more than that—it was hatred. He wondered what Severus wanted—it was more than just a release. He wanted revenge for what the Dark Lord was doing to him._

_Albus couldn't help but compare the Severus in this memory to the Severus that lay in the bed in his office—here, Severus was trying to fight. What had changed? What had made this Severus, who was willing to resist, change into the boy who just wanted to die?_

"_I always knew you were not to be trusted." Bellatrix spat in Severus' direction—the younger man raised his head. "I said, right from the start, that you were not who you said you were."_

_Severus smiled. "Are you accusing the Dark Lord of being blind, Bellatrix?" He asked, his tone carefully ironic. _

_Bella did not look happy with this statement; but it was Voldemort who chose to react. He raised his wand and lazily waved it downward—Severus gasped and blood splattered the floor. "Be careful, Severus. I do not think insulting my...loyal...followers is a particularly good idea, considering your company for the next hour is with them. Bella was indeed right about you; I should have listened to her earlier."_

_Albus stared in fascination—cruel fascination—at the blood and gash on Severus' chest. He could see it clearly through the ripped material—he could see muscle and bone, revealed through Tom's cruel spell. He watched as Severus recovered—lifting his head to look at Bellatrix—and he saw the pain on his spy's face. This was difficult._

"_Crucio!" Bellatrix shouted—her signature spell, her speciality. Albus watched as Severus flinched, waiting to hear him cry out._

_But, unbelievably, Severus did not move again. Albus frowned in incredulity—was this numbness to the Cruciatus? Severus remained sitting up, eyes cast down to the floor—but he did not react to the curse. _

_His initial pride turned to shock when he realised that there was only one way that Severus could block out the pain of that curse—he had been submitted to it so often that he understood how it worked. How many times? How long for? He felt ill, just at the thought._

_Bellatrix broke the curse when Voldemort stood, "Enough." He glided toward Severus, "I am disappointed, Bellatrix. I would have thought that you, of all people..." He waved his hand dismissively at her. She backed away, looking distraught._

_Voldemort looked around his circle. "Avery." _

_Severus had never spoken highly of Avery. He was sadistic and cruel; clever enough to create his own spells and potions (although he did not rival Severus as a wizard, the younger man had been quick to point out), yet stupid enough to use them only for torture. He followed every order that the Dark Lord made. _

_He walked behind Severus—and the younger wizard did not have the strength to turn his head. Albus watched Severus for a moment—he was frowning, as if trying to remember something, but it kept slipping away from him._

_Voldemort was staring at Severus, a small grin playing on his bloodless lips. He lowered himself slightly so he could look into Severus' eyes. A wordless conversation was exchanged, during which Severus looked away. Voldemort smirked, laughed to himself, and then turned away, seating himself once again._

_Avery was holding something in his hand—it looked much like a syringe, that Albus had seen Severus use while he had been making potions. On explaining the device to Albus, Severus had said that it was a Muggle invention, yet allowed him to distribute small amounts of ingredients slowly. _

_Avery stalked forward—he was larger than most, but there was little strength in his muscles. He gripped one of Severus' arms, ignoring the small cry from the other, and pressed the point of the syringe to Severus' wrist. _

_To his credit, Severus did not pull away—he observed the needle driving into his vein as he would a new potion or ingredient. Avery pulled away, sneered at Severus, and resumed his position just behind Severus, wand drawn, simply waiting._

_The change was subtle—but Albus still noticed it. He saw Severus' shoulder slump just a little, his eyes drooping closed. Colour drained from his face, and he seemed to sway just slightly where he was sat. His breathing became quick and raspy. _

_A crease appeared across his forehead._

_Avery slashed his wand as if it were a whip—and an invisible blade seemed to tear through Severus' back. The younger man jerked forward, crying out. The sound was a blade stabbing into Albus' heart._

_Severus moved one hand to his mouth, careful not to hurt his hand any further. Albus saw his throat muscles move—he looked like he was going to be sick._

_Avery cast his spell again—Severus gasped for breath—and lost the battle with his stomach. His spine curved and his body convulsed violently—there was nothing to expel from his mouth, but the image was still distressing._

"_We are looking for a name." Avery said softly—Severus reacted to the voice, but his expression was so distant and vacant. Albus wanted to know exactly what the injection had been—it was making Severus clearly so disorientated._

"_Tell me a member of the Order of the Phoenix." Avery continued._

_Severus was silent for a long moment._

_Avery struck out with the spell again—the younger man recoiled in agony, shaking his head, "I can't." _

_His tormented admission brought him another whiplash—but still Severus did not give in. "I won't!"_

_Long seconds dragged by—Severus shook his head violently, "I won't..." His voice was soft—too soft—his whole body was caving in on itself, and he slumped forward, catching himself on his hands—that gave way beneath him._

_He collapsed to the floor, fighting some kind of inner battle—it was exhausting him, yet he could not sleep, for Albus knew that Voldemort would not let him._

_Voldemort stood up, coming closer to Severus, investigating the state that the younger wizard had got himself into. "One name, Severus, that is all I ask." He murmured._

_Severus raised his head and spat at Voldemort's feet._

_Voldemort stiffened. "Get out of my sight." He snarled at the other Death Eaters—his voice trembled with rage and danger. Albus did not concentrate on them disappearing—his eyes had detected other movement. He turned his head, just slightly. Lucius Malfoy was stood a few feet away. He had taken a few steps forward, looking at Severus—but his expression was almost unreadable. Albus narrowed his eyes, contemplating Lucius—was the Malfoy __**worried **__for his friend?_

_His attention diverted quickly when he heard a gasp of pain from Severus—Voldemort had grabbed him by his hair and was staring into his face. His voice had dropped to a deadly whisper, "I will destroy you."_

_Severus did not respond—he started to cough, violently. Voldemort threw him down onto the floor and turned away._

_Still Severus coughed, a noise that told Albus his throat was dry. He needed a drink._

_Unfortunately, Voldemort had also noticed Severus' predicament. He conjured a glass of water from thin air. "That is a nasty cough, Severus." He announced, "I couldn't go through such torment without a drink of pure, cold water." _

_Albus saw Severus' eyes settle on the goblet. He saw the desire and need in the black eyes. He couldn't stand this. _

_Voldemort smiled—a predatory smile—"Are you thirsty, Severus?" He drank from the glass—all the while staring at the younger man. He offered him the goblet._

_Severus turned his head away._

"_Very well." Voldemort took one step forward, so he was close to Severus—but not too close. He turned the goblet upside down, and the water splashed onto the carpet. He threw the goblet to one side and grabbed Severus' head, forcing it down to the now damp carpet, "If you want it, you will have to lick it from the floor." He pushed Severus' face against the carpet with force—and then let go. "Lucius, pick him up."_

_Lucius was there in a flash—yet Albus saw the gentleness in the way he helped his friend into his arms. Blood was dribbling from Severus' nose—and while the Dark Lord's back was turned, he quickly dabbed the blood away with the sleeve of his robe. Severus' eyes settled on his, and there was a moment exchanged between the two—which ended with Severus batting his hand away._

_Voldemort turned back, "We need to talk, Severus."_

"_I...have...nothing...to...say." Severus answered._

_Lucius had the younger wizard trapped in his arms—as Voldemort advanced on him. "No. You have plenty to say." He knelt on the floor beside Severus, "You are going to offer your allegiance to me, once more. You are going to renounce your loyalty to Dumbledore. You are going to give me the information that rightfully belongs to me."_

_Severus shook his head. "No."_

"_Severus." The voice was almost affectionate. A white finger stroked Severus' cheek and along his hairline. "Fighting will not get you anywhere."_

"_...You will have to...drag...the information from me..." His voice was harder now—Albus felt his heart bleed._

"_I would take great pleasure in that activity, Severus, as you well know. Unfortunately, you do not have the strength to entertain me any longer. Here is your final chance. Give in. Tell me what I want to hear."_

_Severus stared at him for a long moment. The finally, "Albus Dumbledore is the greatest wizard who ever lived."_

_Voldemort drew back. "Very well. You leave me no choice." He stood, and drew his wand. "Tell me, Severus, are you aware of the Mentis Rumpere spell?"_

_Albus stiffened. No. No. It couldn't be..._

_Severus stiffened to. "My Lord..."_

"_I thought you might know." Voldemort continued, "Do you know what it might do to you?"_

"_Please!"_

"_No need to beg me, Severus. I shall enlighten you." He started to pace, backward and forward. _

"_A funny thing, the mind. One can have the weakest body—but if they have the strongest mind, then they can surpass anything physical. Achieving total control of the mind is a difficult feat; few manage it successfully." Voldemort stopped and looked at Severus for a moment, "But clearly, you have worked to keep your mind under your control. This is admirable. But to break the mind...that requires skill...determination..." He smiled. "It will also be painful. Agonising, in fact."_

"_My Lord. I beg of you, don't do this, I cannot..."_

"_You need to be in control, Severus. This we know. You need to be able to think. I will take that ability from you. You have fought admirably—and Lord Voldemort recognises that. However, Lord Voldemort is also aware of the many number of betrayals that you have committed. I believe that this is...suitable punishment."_

_Severus shook his head—and real fear was showing in his black gaze. "I need my thoughts..."_

"_To keep you sane?" The Dark Lord smirked. He came closer, "Do you feel it, now? The slight twinge of fear. Can you feel the sweat trickling down your back? The cruel stab of hopelessness?" _

_Albus felt tears burn his eyes. He could see the fear in Severus' eyes._

_The arms holding his young friend captive tightened—and Lucius would not let go. Severus struggled, just a little, but he could not get away._

"_You can tell us, soon, Severus, how it feels to be...broken."_

_He pointed his wand, and Severus met his gaze, "Have mercy, my Lord!"_

"_Mercy?" Voldemort paused. He looked at Severus for a long moment. "Why should I have mercy? I want you on my side Severus—but you have proved that you are uncooperative when you are in control of yourself and your thoughts. However. When you have nothing—I will be able to...tempt you...all the more easily."_

_Severus shook his head—but this was not defiance. It was terror, "Please..."_

_Instead of answering, Voldemort simply waved his wand._

* * *

Severus' screams of pain and anguish filled his head as he was viciously repelled from the memory. His last sight was of Severus convulsing violently in Lucius Malfoy's unyielding arms. He was returned to his own mind, his own office.

He was shaking, trembling.

"Albus?" Poppy's voice, concerned at his state.

His stomach churned. Foul bile rose in the back of his throat. He staggered toward the bathroom, collapsing by the toilet bowl. The images of Severus, screaming, sobbing, totally defenceless would not leave his head and he retched the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

He realised that he was crying. He was crying for the injustice of everything that had been done to Severus. He was crying because he realised just what his follower had been through. He was crying because he knew just how much damage had been done.

He was devastated because all the pain had been his fault—Severus had tried to stay loyal.

He rose, shakily to his feet, tears still streaking his cheeks.

He sank into the chair beside Severus' bed, and gathered the body into his arms. He pressed a kiss to Severus' sweat-drenched forehead, feeling a sob choke his throat.

"I'm sorry, Severus." He wept. "I'm so sorry."

_

* * *

_

Oooh. Long. Poor Severus. Enough of the flashbacks; next chapter we will be back to the present—and we'll see what state Severus is when he awakens from his fever—and we find out just what Mentis Rumpere actually does...

I hope you will be back; I look forward to your comments!


	12. Chapter 12

**Broken**

* * *

Albus was stood by the window, back to the other two people in the room. One hand was resting against his mouth as he stared out at a black sky. He had not moved for half an hour.

"Albus." Poppy started, "You have to tell us what is wrong. Maybe we can help Severus."

He half laughed. "Help? Oh, there is no helping here, Poppy. What has been done to him..." His voice was trembling.

The newest arrival, Minerva McGonagall, was more concerned for Albus' state. "What did you see?" She asked him, voice calm and kind.

Albus chose not to answer, still watching the night.

Poppy turned her attention to Severus, who lay beneath the covers of his bed, sleeping restlessly. He was quiet, now. "Then at least give us an indication of how bad it is, Albus."

"It's bad." Albus answered. He finally turned. "Poppy...it's..." He seemed unable to find a way to express the words. "I can't...this...not Severus...he's too powerful for this..."

Minerva crossed to him, taking his shaking hands in hers. "Albus." She looked into his eyes. "Please. What did you see?"

He stared at her for a long moment. "Severus. A torture session." He swallowed, "He tried so hard. Such a brave soldier. Too bad that...his bravery would only leave to foolishness..." He shook his head. "All in my name. This has happened because he wouldn't betray me. I feel so guilty, Minerva. I never meant..."

"We know, Albus. Be proud of the fact Severus fought for you." She always saw things in the most practical light; that was why he liked her. "He was very brave." He replied, with a small smile.

She nodded. "So what has worried you so deeply? Severus has been through worse before; he always manages to recover."

"I fear not this time, Minerva. He..." He would have to tell them. He let go of her hands and retreated back to his window. "Mentis Rumpere."

Minerva looked at him, not recognising the words he spoke. But behind her, Poppy gasped and raised both hands to her mouth. "No."

"What is it?" Minerva asked, looking from one to the other. "What does it do?"

Albus sighed. "It's a mentally degenerative disease—powerful dark magic. Plants a seed in the mind, and it corrupts everything—thoughts, memories, personality...anything that makes someone who he is."

"Is there a cure?" Minerva demanded, feeling horror hit her stomach. "Will he forget who he is?"

"Worse. He will lose everything he holds dear. It's a constant battle between sanity and insanity. There is no cure, as far as I am aware." He strode across the room and sat down next to Severus. "He doesn't remember who I am because Tom forced him to forget me. That alone is bad enough. But the thought of losing him completely...I can't watch that. Not with Severus."

Poppy assumed her businesslike facade. "Then we find the cure, Albus. No disease is incurable. No matter who cast it."

Albus did not answer. He was lost, staring down at Severus, running one hand through his black hair. "I'm not going to let this happen, Severus, I promise..." He whispered. "I'm sorry..."

The younger man stirred. A frown creased his brow, and Albus drew his hand away. He couldn't stand seeing Severus so vulnerable and weak. It tore his heart in two—and it was making him angry. So very angry.

Severus' eyes flickered open. "I don't..." He started to say, looking around him. "Where..." He sat up straight. "Don't hurt me." He whispered.

"We won't hurt you, Severus, you are at Hogwarts, remem—"

"No...no...I'll tell you what you want to know...please...I can't stand...any more...please..."

"Severus!" Albus reached out a hand—the younger man winced away. "You're angry!" He exclaimed, "I don't...please...have mercy..."

Albus faltered, unable to listen to the please falling from Severus' lips, knowing that the boy did not know who he was, but not sure how to appease his fears. "Stay calm, Severus, please, listen..."

"No..." Severus leapt back, with much more strength than Albus thought he possessed. He collapsed off the side of the bed—but before Albus could help him, he was on his feet. Unsteadily. But still standing. "Please..."

"Severus. I am not going to hurt you. You need to trust me."

Severus stared at him, but his black eyes were unseeing. "Will you take the pain away? You always take the pain away. Please help me. I never meant to betray you. I just...please don't hurt..."

He weaved on his feet and fell down to the floor.

Albus crossed to his side—but again Severus pulled away. He edged against the wall. "Please..." He curled his body up into a small bowl, shivering violently, resting his head on top of his knees. "Don't hurt me..."


	13. Chapter 13

Broken

_My oh my. SS19 smiles sweetly at you and hopes you will not yell at her for such a delay in her updates. Something happened that made her unable to write—but now, finally, the muse has returned, and thus Broken receives some tender loving care and a much deserved update._

_This is dedicated to __**skaterkep **__and __**SophiaL17**__ who in their separate ways keep me sane, inspired and happy. Thank you both._

**

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Broken Chapter 13

"Please, I can't take any more..." His voice was barely a whisper, as if he knew that his pleas would be pointless. He curled up tighter, arms wrapped around his knees, hiding his face between curtains of dark hair.

And he stared. He simply stared at the broken wreck before his eyes—his Severus, crumpled, breathing erratic, body tense and shaking involuntarily.

He stared at someone he loved so much, beyond anything he had ever felt and anything he understood.

And he was gripped with sudden purpose. This could not happen. Mentis Rumpere was devastating, and illness that tore sanity from the mind, personality from the body and life from the soul.

What he saw before him was terrible, yes. But he realised that...this would only get worse if he did not _do _something! He turned to Minerva and Poppy, who were stood together by the door, "I need a few moments." He murmured—and they nodded, quickly leaving the room.

He knelt on the floor beside Severus, "Severus. Listen to me. I am your friend. You need to trust me."

"I don't...stay away...don't hurt me..." The voice was a pathetic murmur, and it broke his fragile heart. But when he spoke, he had found the calmness and the patience he so desperately craved. "I will never hurt you." He whispered, "You need to find it in your heart to trust me."

"You _left me there." _Severus answered suddenly. "He told me. You _left_ me there to die."

Albus shook his head, "No." He clung to his temper—he could not lose it, for he risked losing Severus. "I couldn't find you."

"You didn't try hard enough. You gave up. He told me that."

"He is lying to you." Albus answered quickly. "Please, understand that."

"Why didn't you come?" The voice was soft once more—"Why did you not come?"

Albus realised that this was causing several problems for Severus—and he could understand why. If he professed to care so much, why had he stopped looking for Severus? If he loved him as much as he said, why had he not torn buildings apart to rescue him?

But Albus could not answer that because he did not know the answer himself—why had he stopped searching? Why had he believed the body in the ditch?

It had been so real.

_White skin, cold beneath his touch. The pain, such terrible pain, filling his heart and beyond. Disbelief—the desperate need to disbelieve the image before him. His eyes confirming what he did not want to see. The blood on his chest, dried—the carving of the Dark Mark. He was gone..._

Albus shook himself back to the present. "I thought you were dead." He replied, "I saw a body. I could not have known that it was not real."

"I...I called for you." Severus murmured. "You..." He wrapped his arms around himself, "You did not reply."

"I thought I was going mad, Severus." He remembered the voice—when he had chosen to listen to it. The dark nights that had followed the body in the ditch—when his own mind had tortured him with terrible images—and he had been unable to sleep, unable to think, unable to do anything.

_The soft voice, calling to him. "Headmaster..."_

Always the same word. Just his title—almost a name when used by Severus. The word that had driven him so close to mindlessness, had made him so angry, so despairing, so heartbroken. In his every waking thought.

"I missed you, so much, I thought I was conjuring the word to comfort myself." He needed to be honest, now. He needed to show Severus how much it had hurt, losing him. He needed to prove just how much the boy meant to him.

But still, he could see the doubt.

"He told me things." Severus murmured finally. "Before...before he did this to me..."

"You are aware of your condition?" Albus pressed, unwilling to bring up such harsh memories, but needing to know how much of Severus was left. How much could they save?

Finally Severus met his eyes. "Yes. He delighted in reminding me."

Albus felt his fingers clench by his sides. "We will have our revenge."

Severus shook his head sadly. "He has already had his. There is nothing I can do. I know what happens with this illness."

"No. No. You are going to fight this. Look at you—you have been so strong, so far, Severus! You have fought it, regained a little of your memory. He has not taken everything you have—and he never will." His voice was passionate, and this seemed to surprise Severus, who looked at him for a long moment.

Albus clasped his hands together. "But I need to ask you. What does he know about the Order? Do you remember anything?"

"He has seen everything." Severus responded after a slight pause. He glanced away. "By the end, I could not defend myself."

"You tried. That is all that matters." Albus frowned, "But, why has he not attacked yet? If he knows everything I have told you..." He contemplated this fact for a moment, staring at Severus, who lowered his gaze. "It is no matter." He decided finally. "What matters, here and now, is helping you."

"You cannot help me." Severus was still staring at his lap. "There is only one person who can help me—and he will not. He wants this."

"What does he want?" Albus demanded. "I will stop this."

Severus shook his head. "I don't want to be responsible for this!" He said finally, and his voice was louder than before. Albus nearly flinched, "For what?"

Severus was shaking violently, "I won't do this." He answered feverently—and Albus realised that he was speaking inward. "Severus." He reached out, almost without thinking, to touch Severus' arm. Severus flinched away, but his focus was back on Albus.

"What does he want you to do?"

Severus stared at him. "He wants you to hurt." He bit his lip anxiously, "He wants me to hurt you. He wants you to watch me fall apart. He let you find me. Now he will let you watch me die."

Stunned by this revelation—this whole plan—Albus was silent for a very long time. He rose from his kneeling position and walked to the window, staring out of the window panes, eyes narrowed.

Still in his corner, Severus withdrew further, "I tried!" He shouted finally, "I really tried."

"I am not angry with you, Severus." Albus reasoned, refusing to turn from the window.

"But I tried to stop him. I wouldn't let him have what he wanted—you don't understand what it is like...he said I was too weak and wouldn't be able to fight him—and that I would hurt you anyway. He said that I would always let you down—and that this...this would be my fault...please...don't go through this..." Severus pushed himself to his feet, "I don't want this to happen..." He whispered, "Please...don't be angry...I don't mean to fail..."

"You have never failed me, Severus." Still Albus could not look at Severus.

"You are lying to me." Severus answered, raising a shaking hand, leaning on the wall. "He said that...by the end...you would hate me..."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT LIES VOLDEMORT HAS TOLD YOU!" Albus thundered. "That's what they are. Lies."

"Then why are you so angry?" Severus pressed, "Why won't you look at me?"

Albus took a deep breath in. "I am angry because of why Voldemort has done this to you. I am angry at myself for not spending the time searching for you when you needed me the most. And, Merlin help me, I am angry that you do not understand that that _none of this is your fault_!" He turned—his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears—"And I cannot look at you because I do not want you to see the guilt in my eyes."

Severus sank back down into a sitting position by the wall. "You should have left me to die in that fire. It would have been easier for both of us."

"No." Albus crossed to him, "Because now you have the chance to survive. I will find the cure to this disease, Severus. You will not fall apart. Not while I am here with you."

"There is nothing you can do."

"I beg to differ." He paused, "Or, at least, let me try. Will you promise me that? Will you let me try to save you? Will you fight against whatever is happening, just to give me enough time to try? I need that, Severus. I cannot let this happen—not because it gives Voldemort what he wants. But because I can't let you die—you mean too much to me. You always have. Will you give me that promise?"

Severus met his eyes. "He said you didn't care."

"He was wrong." Albus came a little closer to Severus—and the other did not move away. "He can never understand how _much _I care for you, my dear boy."

"Then I will fight for you." He paused. "But..."

Albus looked at him. "Yes?"

Severus reached out and touched Albus' hand. "When it gets too much. When the illness takes its hold. When I can't fight any longer—and you give up—will you please...just kill me."

Albus stared at him. "You ask too much..."

"I cannot...I will not let you watch me fall apart. I do not want the indignity of that. Please. Promise me."

Albus bit his lip, "That is..." He gripped Severus' hand. "Let me keep my promise first, and then I shall make a decision about yours."

* * *

Two hours later, they remained sat on the floor by the wall. Severus had long since fallen asleep—and Albus had both arms around him, drawing an aimless pattern with one finger on Severus' shoulder. He could have slept himself, exhausted, but Severus' demand was keeping him awake.

Voldemort said that Severus would fall apart—and Albus would watch him die.

But Albus wondered, perhaps, if Voldemort had actually second guessed Severus...and known that he would not want Albus to watch that.

Perhaps Voldemort even knew that Severus would ask Albus to kill him.

Was that really what this was about? Was this, in some warped way, Voldemort trying to teach Albus a lesson?

Was he really expecting him to kill Severus?


	14. Chapter 14

**Broken**

_Dedicated to Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape. Thank you for having such a relationship which allows me to spend so much of my time writing about you!_

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Albus Dumbledore sighed and closed the ancient tomb with a sharp snap. He rested his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes with his index fingers. He inhaled deeply through his nose, lowering his hands and staring blearily across his office. It was late.

Very late. In fact, it was practically morning. He hadn't slept. He didn't think he would have been able to. His mind was too active.

He had been through every book in his office—looking for any indication of anything he could do to try to help Severus. So far, nothing had come to light. He was starting to feel hopeless. There had to be something—but he didn't have years!

And there was no-one he knew who he could ask for help. Mentis Rumpere was...known for its ferocity but uncommon in actual victims—it was so devastating that its few victims had caused such fear in those who knew about it. And now it was Albus' most beloved friend who was suffering under its grip.

He stood from his chair and moved over to bed, where Severus lay dreaming. He was very still—and this should have relaxed Albus—eyes closed, breathing shallow but regular. He stroked one hand over Severus' forehead, feeling the head beneath the skin. "I can't let this happen." He sank down into the chair next to the bed, propping his head up with one hand, resting the other by Severus' shoulder. "You wouldn't give up. If this were a potion that was being disobedient, you would find the solution. But it isn't that simple now, Severus. Could it be that the only person able to cure you is the man who put you in this state?"

State? The word reverberated within him. How would Severus end up? A speechless, mindless individual whose only place in life would be on the secure ward in St Mungo's? That was the most painful insult of them all—and yet, he could see no other way out.

And then, there was Severus' request to him—asking Albus to kill him. The words had tormented Albus since Severus had uttered them—how could anyone do that? How could he...he closed his eyes and tried to block the thoughts out. He had imagined Severus dead for so long—had finally found him—and now was tortured by the thought of losing him again. That could not be allowed to happen.

There had to be some other way!

He reached out and gently touched Severus' hand with his own fingers. "We'll find a way. You and me, Severus, we will find the way out of this. I promise." He clenched his fingers around Severus', unwilling to let go.

* * *

He had finally fallen asleep, sometime after. He was woken by a scratching noise at the window. He turned his head sleepily—and could see the outline of a bird.

An owl.

He stood up, stretching his sore muscles. The night in the armchair had not done his aged body much good—but at least he had been close to Severus. He glanced at the younger man as he crossed to the window—there was no change.

He opened the window and the owl soared into the room, depositing a letter onto Albus' desk. Before Albus could recognise the owl, it had swept away. He reached down, and picked up the letter it had dropped.

He didn't know the seal—so opened the envelope and pulled out a scrap of paper.

He read the message once.

A frown creased his brow.

"That's not possible..." He whispered.

But he could not deny the words.

_I know how to cure Severus Snape's condition. Meet me in the Lion's Mouth, just outside Kings Cross in Muggle London. Eight o clock. Tonight. Bring no one._

There was no name. Nothing.

He stared at the note, unwilling to believe the words.

_I know how to cure Severus Snape's condition..._


	15. Chapter 15

**Broken**

**_This story will be finished on Saturday October 23rd. An update a day, until I leave for my hiatus._**

**Chapter 15**

_

* * *

I know how to cure Severus Snape's condition. Meet me in the Lion's Mouth, just outside Kings Cross in Muggle London. Eight o' clock. Tonight. Bring no one._

Albus looked across at the clock. It was six o' clock. In the evening. He was still trying to make a decision about the note, clutched in his hands.

It was clearly a trap. Someone who just happened to know the cure to Severus' condition? Unlikely. It was Voldemort, trying to trip Albus up, by using the one thing he knew would always bring Dumbledore down—attacking one of his own.

But.

Every time Albus tried to dismiss the letter and the thoughts, there was the other question.

What if it was really a cure? What if this person really did know how to fix Severus?

Could he live with himself if it turned out to be the opportunity that he ignored? He stood and started to pace up and down his office, shaking his head. He didn't know what to do...

"...Albus?" There was a whispered voice from the bed. Albus turned and smiled warmly at Severus, whose eyes had opened. "Hello, dear child. How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts." Severus murmured. "You woke me."

"I apologise." Albus sat down next to Severus. "It was not my intention."

"...Why were you pacing? You seem...anxious?" Severus' voice was low—which meant he had to have a really bad headache—so Albus followed suit. "I'm a little confused is all."

"Any luck with a cure?"

"No...Severus...how much do you trust me?" He asked finally, staring at Severus' sleepy black eyes.

"With my life, Headmaster...you know that." A frown crossed his brow. "What is it?"

"I have had an anonymous letter—it says that this person has a cure for your condition." Albus looked at the piece of parchment. "But I..."

"It's clearly a trap." Severus said softly—and Albus smiled at him. "My thoughts exactly. But Severus. What if they are speaking the truth?"

Severus looked at him for a moment. "You...would never forgive yourself...if...it was..."

"You know me too well, my dear." He shook his head, sobering. "I can't find anything, Severus, so surely I have to take this chance? But I want your blessing—it's your life that we are playing with here."

Severus turned his head away, looking out of the window. "I feel worse. I don't think I have much time left..."

"Don't say such twaddle. We'll find a way."

Severus tried to smile. "You are far too optimistic for your own good, Headmaster."

"I have to be, Severus, otherwise I fear I might lose my mind." He stopped. "An unhappy choice of words—I apologise, Severus."

"I want you to go and meet this person." Severus muttered. "I want you to find them and see what they have to say. If it is someone who can help...and if it is a trap, you have to find a way...out for I will be...very unforgiving if you end up captured..." His voice had gathered some strength, "You were going to go anyway. No matter what you convinced yourself."

"I can't let this go, Severus. It could be..." He leaned forward. "I may be gone some time. Are you going to be all right?"

"I am not planning on dying, Headmaster." Severus replied. "Not...without you here...anyway."

"Just to torment me, my boy?" Albus smiled—but Severus looked at him seriously. "No. I want you there at my side."

"You are not going to die, Severus. I promise, I will find some way to fix you."

Severus made some sort of affirmative noise in the back of his throat, shifting his head slightly. "I might go back to sleep."

"I'll be here when you get back." Albus reached out across the bed and gently touched Severus' cheek, turning the exhausted wizard back to him. "Don't lose hope, my boy. There is always hope."

"No. There is not always hope." Severus raised one shaky hand and touched it to Albus', still close to his cheek. "But there is always trust. And I...trust you...always."

Albus bent forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Severus' forehead. "I will come back with something. I promise."

He watched Severus turn his head away, waiting until the other's breathing had levelled and he had started to dream again. "I promise."

* * *

He woke not much later feeling hot. Too hot. Sweat was dripping from his brow, and he could feel it drenching his sheets. He couldn't breathe properly, his chest was too tight. He needed a drink—he held his hand up, wondering if he could Summon a glass of water—but it took too much concentration.

_Severus..._

The voice was loud against his ear, and he nearly jolted away. But he didn't have the strength to fight it away.

_I see Albus received my note..._

"No..."

_Which means he is on the way...walking into my trap..._

"Leave...him..."

_Just as I predicted. Stupid sentimental fool._

"Albus...come back..."

_He's too far gone now. Do you expect to see him come back? It's hopeless, Severus._

"No..."

_It's hopeless—you've caused his death..._

The darkness was increasing, as his breathing increased. "No...no..." He wanted to get up—"Albus..."

He had to do something...


	16. Chapter 16

**Broken**

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Chapter 16:**

Albus Dumbledore walked into the Lion's Mouth, pulling his hood away from his face and shaking the water from his raincoat. He was convinced that it always rained when he ventured to London. He glanced around the room—

"What can I get you?" The barmaid shouted from the bar. Albus glanced at her. "A whiskey, please." He sat down in the corner, looking for someone, anyone—the person who had written the note?

He sat still for a moment, suddenly feeling...peculiar. For a second, it was as if someone was calling to him, distracting his attention from the here and now. He turned his head—thinking he heard someone call his name... "Severus?"

"Albus Dumbledore?" A voice asked his name—and he looked up. "Yes?"

"Delighted, I am sure." Albus knew that voice.

"So, Severus and I were correct. This is a trap. I will be leaving now—do not try to apprehend me, _Malfoy_, for you will be unsuccessful."

Lucius Malfoy effortless glided into the chair opposite Dumbledore. "Don't you want to hear what I have to say, first? It might be of interest to you."

Dumbledore stared at him. "How could I be interested in what you have to say? You are responsible for the state that Severus is in."

Malfoy was silent for a long moment. "Then it was successful."

"You knew it was successful—it was you who was there when your master cast the spell."

"That does not mean I condone it, Dumbledore."

Albus wanted to scoff—but he was suddenly unsure. He remembered the image in Severus' head. The concern he had seen on Malfoy's face when Severus had been tortured—could it be that the Malfoy was not completely heartless, as he seemed? Severus and he had been friends since Hogwarts—and Severus had always defended his friend's name, if not his decision. They were almost like brothers. But...

"I tried to persuade the Dark Lord not to take this route—however, he is unforgiving. Severus did fail him—and betray him—to you. He does not know I am here."

"Why would you risk so much?" Dumbledore demanded. "You are the same as the others."

Malfoy looked away. "Severus is a good friend of mine. He has made similar sacrifices for me, in the past. I do not wish the fate of the Mentis Rumpere on him."

Dumbledore turned his attention away from Malfoy, taking the beaker from the waitress who had approached their table. He downed the liquid quickly, before staring at Lucius with his piercing blue eyes. "If I were to believe you—what would you offer me?"

"A spell that undoes the effect of the curse the Dark Lord has placed upon him. He has finished with Severus; he sees no further reason to torment him, and is waiting for him to die. He should not be interested." Lucius clasped his hands together in front of him. "It is up to you to decide whether or not you should trust me."

"Why would I trust you? This could be some sort of story, that you are spinning me. You are asking me to place Severus' life in your hands—that is something I will not do. Not to one of you." Dumbledore was starting to get angry. This was not fair—Severus did not deserve this treatment.

"You don't have to trust me, Dumbledore. You can walk out of here, and deem this meeting unsuccessful." Lucius paused. "But. There is no other cure for his state. He is dying, Dumbledore—you can see it. But Severus will not allow it—he will not allow himself to fall apart in such a way. Where will he end up? St Mungo's? You will not be able to take care of him. He knows that. He can see the future. If you do not attempt to save him—then Severus will try to free himself."

Dumbledore stared at him. "What are you suggesting?"

"You know what I suggest. He will try to kill himself, to stop this. Has he already asked you to do it for him? Did you see the expression in his eyes? The despair? Can you imagine what it must be like for him? Watching his mind deteriorate? Unsure of who he is?"

"Stop it!" Albus couldn't bear it—just because it was so true.

"Would you like to know one final thing, Dumbledore? Even if I was the Dark Lord himself, offering a cure—you would take it, no matter the cost—because you have no choice. You have to try—because you can't bear to see him die in front of you. You are too selfish for that."

Dumbledore glared at him. "I am not doing this for my own benefit—Severus does not deserve to die."

"We shall see. The cure is here." He handed a piece of parchment to Dumbledore. "It is your decision." Lucius stood. "I predict he has three days left—before he will be doing _anything_ to free himself."

"No. That shall not happen. I shall make sure of it." Dumbledore clutched the piece of parchment in his hand.

He had to head back to Hogwarts—Severus would need him.

* * *

He opened the door to the bedroom, using his wand to light the candles on his desk. "Severus? Are you sleeping? I need you to wake up—I think I have found a cure—I want you to look at first though—Severus?" He paused. "Severus?"

He waved his wand at the chandelier hanging from the roof, brightening the room. He turned to look at the bed. "Severus?"

But the bed was empty.


	17. Chapter 17

**Broken**

_All shall be revealed...soon..._

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**Chapter 17**

He was cold. Very cold. It was as if icicles were piercing his skin and freezing his blood. But he could remember.

"_I can't do this anymore...I've made such a terrible mistake...please...he killed her. I asked him...now I finally understand...please, Professor Dumbledore, I need your help..."_

"_I understand, Severus. Listen to me. I understand."_

He was tired. Very tired. It was as if someone had tied weights to his limbs. But at least he could remember.

"_I'll go to Azkaban. I'll take the Kiss—it is all I deserve—I can't ask any more of you."_

_A hand on his arm—a physical touch that wasn't cruel or domineering or painful. It was simply...a touch to tell him that there was someone there. Someone who cared. "You are not going to Azkaban, Severus. I will never allow that, my dear child."_

_He stared at the blue eyes, confused by the term of endearment. He never questioned it—but had he really ever accepted the depth of their relationship?_

He was numb. Completely numb. It was as if someone had taken his mind and pulled it from his body. But he was still able to remember.

"_You must be more careful, my dear Severus." A cool salve was pressed to his cheek, mending the deep cut that marred his pale skin. "I cannot lose you."_

"_Why do I do this?" He was exhausted and hurting. How much could he take? How much more? "Is it still to repay my debt to you?"_

"_You have no debt to repay, Severus, and you know that well. So that leaves us with the question—why do you do this?" He stared at him through those blue eyes that he knew so well._

"_Because I am still indebted—to you—for understanding me. For trying to hep me. For being there..." He shook his head. "I will always be in your debt."_

He was hurting. Hurting badly. It was as if a thousand knives were stabbing his skin. And remembering did not help.

"_You ask too much of me, Headmaster." He felt old. He could no longer do this. It was too much._

"_Your puppet, your pawn, your slave!" Such awful words. How had he conjured them? They were not aimed at the Headmaster—no, they were meant for another master..._

"_I grow weary of your fight."_

"_Our fight—not mine!" But no-one ever understood that it was his fight too! When he was sent before the Dark Lord, it was only his fight. His fight for life and survival. Would anyone ever understand that?_

_And the final blow. The final cut. The final stab. "Coward."_

_And he felt it. The anger and the hate and the disgust. So destructive! Why?_

_Why had he destroyed the one thing he had ever loved?_

He coughed. He spat blood from his mouth.

_The note, clutched in his hand. The words that confirmed his fate. A death sentence. And he wanted to run—run away—back to his mentor and know that he would be safe. But he could not—for his mentor thought him a coward. So instead, he simply swallowed the remainder of the Fire Whiskey and stood._

He fell to his knees. Night time dew soaked through his robes.

_He lay in his cell, bleeding, beaten, broken. He could not move for fear of throwing up. He did not know where he was or why he was still alive. He knew very little. But there was one memory. One snippet of his past that he clung to._

_And when he opened his eyes he could see the blue irises looking down at him. He could feel the scratchy beard resting against his exposed skin. The sleeve of a bright purple robe brushed his cheek as a crooked finger traced the many lesions and bruises on his face. But there was the smallest of smiles and even though he knew it was not real, he smiled too. And the smile on that wizened and beloved face widened and three words were whispered against his ear. And he was gone._

"_My dear child..."_

He was unconscious. Completely was as if someone had simply turned out the lights; blown out the candle. But he could see.

_He was stood, staring. This was not his memory. There was a gate. A ditch. And a body._

_And then hurried footsteps. A cry of his name. "Severus!" He watched his mentor skid to a halt. He watched him kneel in the dirt and the blood and touch the raven hair and feel the cold skin. He heard the repeated denial. Begging—for someone to answer his prayer._

_The tremble in his voice was so obvious and it reverberated inside his head._

_But it was the last words that made him want to weep. "I'm so sorry, my dear child, I'm sorry. Please forgive me..._

_Please forgive me."_


	18. Chapter 18

Broken

_Ahhhhh! 90 reviews! Wow. *cries happily*_

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**Chapter 18**

"Albus!" There was an urgent knock on his door. "Albus!" He crossed to the door and opened it, "Minerva, he's—"

"In the grounds. Unconscious. Hagrid found him. He's in...in a bad way."

"What is he doing in the grounds?" Albus was already hurrying down the stairs. "Is Poppy—"

"She's with him. But she says he won't respond—she's not sure how he got there—"

"I left him asleep..." They had reached the Entrance Hall. "I was only gone for half an hour!"

"He had almost reached the gates, Albus! He was certainly trying to get somewhere..."

"I shouldn't have left him..." Albus shook his head. "He needs me..."

They walked to where there was light, against the blackness of the night. "Poppy?"

"Albus! He's breathing, but I can't get him to open his eyes." Poppy was kneeling next to the fainted Severus, one hand resting against his neck.

Albus sat beside Severus, his eyes fixed on the pale face. "Severus?" He looked up at Hagrid, stood holding the lantern. "How did you find him?"

"He was jus' staggerin'—yeh know—I could 'ear 'im ramblin' something 'bout stoppin' a trap. And then 'e just fell..." Hagrid looked worried. "Is 'e gonna be all right, Professor?"

"Severus?" Albus gently lifted the other into his arm. "For Merlin's sake, my dear boy, how did you end up here? We need to get him inside."

Poppy looked at him. "Have you found a cure, Albus? Because...Albus, I hate to say this to you so bluntly...but...he is not going to last much longer. He's...he's losing this fight, Albus. He's dying."

Albus looked away. "I know."

He settled Severus back into his bed, standing back to stare at him.

_He's dying._

And he could see it. He only had to look at Severus to know that he was dying. "I have to find a way to fix you..." He murmured.

So he turned back to his desk and looked at the piece of parchment. Lucius Malfoy...his words had been carefully chosen, but it could also be such a clever ruse. Severus and he were friends, yes, but he was also a Death-Eater—and surely Voldemort's right hand man since Severus' betrayal? What could he do? Could he trust it?

But. Severus was close to losing his fight—that much was clear. Surely that meant Albus had to take the chance, and deal with the consequences? He had to believe that someone could change—he had to believe that Lucius Malfoy meant no harm.

Before he could allow himself to change his mind, he drew his wand and pointed it at Severus. "I will find a way to fix you."

And he read the words on the piece of parchment.

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_**Quite a short chapter this one—but I look forward to your thoughts about what will happen next! Do we trust Lucius Malfoy? Is Albus making a big mistake? Or is he right to believe that people can change?**_

_**We are seven chapters away from the end, people. How scary is that? I might actually cry...**_


	19. Chapter 19

**Broken**

**Chapter 19**

_To all who reviewed the last chapter—thank you. I am so glad to see that we trust Lucius, despite his Slytherin tendencies. However. I suppose, the real question is not about trusting Lucius. It is about whether or not we trust the Dark Lord._

_Chapter 19 people—my masterpiece is nearing its end. 19 is my lucky number—and hopefully a monumental chapter! Enjoy._

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White light that seemed more like smoke in consistency exploded from the end of his wand. It enveloped the younger man lying unconscious in the bed, and for a moment obscured him from view. But then, it started to dissipate—and as Albus watched, the smoke invaded Severus' nostrils and mouth, inhaled by the shallow yet thankfully regular breathing. In a matter of moments, it was all gone.

Albus stared at Severus, unwilling to even blink. Sudden panic assaulted his chest, and he was filled with sudden doubt. What if this was a trap? He had always trusted his instincts—yet who was he to play with Severus' life with such terrible nonchalance? What if he had condemned him to death...

He almost thought that he imagined Severus' moan. His own breathing was rapid—increased by nervousness and anxiety.

But he couldn't have imagined the soft cry of his name—and he replied. "Severus?"

Severus shifted position and hissed in pain—"Albus..." Black eyes flickered open and frowned against the light.

"Severus!" Albus collapsed into the chair next to Severus' bed. "Don't ever do that to me again." Relief made his muscles weak—but he managed to smile at his young friend. Severus glanced at him. "You're all right." He murmured, his voice nothing more than a faltering whisper.

Albus raised an eyebrow. "I am not the one who got out of bed and went for a wander around the grounds when he is gravely ill! What possessed you, dear child?"

"...I had to save you!" Severus whispered.

"Me?" Albus answered. "I went to see the person who said he had a cure for you...we discussed this before I left..."

Severus stared at him blearily. "But...he told me it was a trap...that it would destroy you...that was why I had to save you..."

"It wasn't a trap, Severus—see! I'm here! He's just trying to hurt you, dear boy. Now. How do you feel?"

Severus still looked worried—but he answered Albus' question after a brief moment. "Better—maybe—I'm not sure—my head does feel better—"

Albus smiled. "Maybe it's working then."

"What's working?" Severus asked with a frown. "What's happened?"

"You left me very little choice in the matter, my dear—I met with the person who promised a cure and came back here to find you unconscious in the grounds. I cast the spell—I had to—and it seems to be working." He leaned forward in his chair. "I hope you don't mind, Severus, for if you had been awake, I would have asked." He reached out a hand, almost as if to touch Severus' cheek. "I need you to recover, Severus. You have no idea how much I need you to recover." He pressed the back of one finger to Severus' cheek.

Severus jerked away with a cry of pain, pressing a hand to his cheek. Albus stared at him, "What did I do? Severus?"

"You burnt me..." Severus' eyes were watering as he pulled his hand away. Albus stared in absolute horror at a cruel red weal that had risen on the soft skin—in the exact place his finger had been. "What?"

Severus looked at him. "I don't feel very well..."

"That can't have been me!" Albus whispered angrily. "It can't..."

Severus frowned. "I feel really sick, Albus."

"Let me just—" Albus held out his hand. "I need to know, Severus, I am so sorry but..."

Severus had started to shake, almost involuntarily. Sweat was beading on a white forehead. "I can't breathe..."

Albus touched his fingers to Severus' desperately—but when Severus moaned, almost piteously, he drew away. Anger boiled in his chest, white hot and uncontrollable. And he realised that he had been tricked. But no longer was he going to stand by passively. He drew his wand and headed to the door.

"Where...where...are you going?" Severus whispered.

He forced his voice to be bright and calm. "Just to bring someone to see you, Severus. That would be nice, wouldn't it? A visitor?" He did not stay in time to hear Severus' response, and simply left the room.

Severus watched the door close and rolled onto his side, curling into a ball. Never had he felt so sick...

_Now I have you, Severus Snape._

_

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Calm down, Dumbledore. _He repeated those words to himself several times, but they seemed to have no impact on his anger. He was furious—never had he been so angry! But this time, he was going to act. He was beginning to understand why the pain was so deep—Severus was like a child to him, the only student he really considered to be his own—and someone was playing a sick game to cause him so much harm. Someone needed to fight for Severus—and by hell, Albus was going to. It was time someone received comeuppance for the part that they had played.

He knocked on the door to Malfoy Manor—he could appear calm, despite the torment inside, which surprised him.

The door opened to Narcissa Malfoy. She seemed rather surprised to see him, so early in the morning—"Headmaster Dumbledore!" Her tone was pleasant—yet Albus could tell it was forced. "How may I assist you?"

How would Lucius like it if it was his wife who lay dying in a bed, at the mercy of a sick individual and those who had no right to torment her? Albus felt rage burn his bloodstream—and behind his back, his fingers twitched. But he would not harm her. He had come to seek someone else. "Mrs. Malfoy. I seek your husband's advice on a delicate matter. I wish to see him."

Narcissa frowned at him, slightly confused. "Lucius is working in his study—I doubt he will wish to be disturbed." Her icy facade was slowly settling over her features—and she began to close the door.

Albus' voice hardened. "It is important." His eyes did not leave hers—and after a moment or two, she buckled. "I will ask him to come down." She paused, unwilling to let him in. He relented—he did not want to step inside this mansion, anyway. "I will speak to him in the garden then, please." He nearly choked on the final word, but his voice stayed level.

She closed the door.

He sat down on a marble bench, watching a white peacock preen itself in front of his gaze. Why was he so desperate to hurt something? Was it because he couldn't bear the pain in his chest? The sun was starting to rise—and the sky was a shade of red that thrilled him. At least something was bleeding.

The door opened and Malfoy strode out. Angry agony lanced through Albus' chest as he stared at the arrogance and apathy this man demonstrated. "Dumbledore. Come to thank me, I assume."

"In a way." Dumbledore stood up. "I want you to see something." Once again, he marvelled at his own self control. How had he not drawn a wand on this fiend yet? "You will accompany me to Hogwarts."

"I have no desire to go to Hogwarts." Malfoy replied.

Albus stepped forward. "If you value your life, Mr Malfoy, then you will come to Hogwarts."

Malfoy straightened his back. "Are you threatening me, Dumbledore? You cannot touch me."

Albus leaned forward to whisper. "No, I cannot. But Voldemort can."

Lucius stared at him for a long moment, as if weighing up this statement. But finally he raised one eyebrow. "To Hogwarts, then."

* * *

On leaving Hogwarts, Albus had adjusted the wards of Hogwarts to allow him and Malfoy to Apparate straight into his office. Albus turned and grabbed Malfoy's arm. "You have made a terrible mistake, Mr. Malfoy." He pushed him up the small spiral staircase to the adjoining bedroom. "See what you have done?"

Lucius raised his head and stared straight at Severus—lying half asleep in his bed. Every muscle in Lucius' body stiffened as he took a small step forward. "Severus?"

Severus didn't response. His dark eyes, open yet unseeing, were focused on the window. His breathing was short and sharp. Lucius turned concerned silver eyes on Albus. "What are you waiting for? Use the spell I gave you, before he dies!"

Albus just looked at him. "Do not even try, Malfoy. I thought you might want to see what your "cure" did."

Lucius took a step back, understanding hitting him hard. "But it was a cure! I found it, in the book that the Dark Lord found the initial curse in—" He glanced at Severus. "I did not do this!"

"How do I cure him, Malfoy?" Albus asked. "You will tell me."

"I do not know—not now—I thought it was..."

Albus drew his wand, "I will force an answer from you if I must."

Before Lucius could even reach for his wand, Albus had disarmed him. "You wouldn't dare, Dumbledore. You will not harm me."

"You are playing with Severus' life—Malfoy, I will hurt you unless you tell me how to cure him."

"I thought I had! I wanted you to owe me Dumbledore—and I do care about Severus, he is a very dear friend of mine—but I do not know how to help him now." Lucius' voice had raised in both volume and pitch.

Albus felt no pity—he was lost in his own anger and while he groped for calm, there was none to find. He stared at Lucius. "I could hurt you." He murmured. "I could destroy you."

"You could. But you will not. How selfish are you, Dumbledore? You will hurt me—and I am innocent in this—to out your own pain! There are others who care for him too! I had to watch him fall from grace. I was forced to participate in the carnage that followed."

"But you enjoyed it." Dumbledore whispered. "You enjoyed torturing him as much as the others. Perhaps more so!"

"He deserved it!" Lucius cried. "Why did he turn from us? He should have stayed loyal! How did he allow himself to be corrupted by you? He must have known that one day he would be discovered! How could he place himself in such danger...for you? He was the Dark Lord's favourite—we trusted him—and he betrayed us. He deserves the torment that follows..."

Albus stiffened. "How dare you?" He brought his wand down and—before he could stop himself—his mouth had formed the curse. "Crucio."

Lucius cried out in pain and dropped to his knees, gasping in agony. "Stop!"

Albus felt the tears burn his eyes but the Unforgivable felt so good that he couldn't stop, no matter how loud Lucius cried out—but then—

"Albus!" Severus' voice cut across him and through the haze. Severus was up on his feet, leaping toward the Headmaster and grabbing his wrist, directing the wand away from Lucius. "Stop it—Headmaster—this makes you no better than him—stop. Please." The soft tone from Severus, punctuated by harsh breathing, made his vision clear. He turned his head and looked into Severus' confused eyes. "My boy..." He saw the grimace of pain on the other's face, and looked down at Severus' hand, wrapped around his wrist. "Let go."

"You are not him." Severus murmured. "Do not become what he is because of me."

"He did this to you." Albus glared at Malfoy. "He told me it would help."

"Headmaster. The Dark Lord...did this...to me...no one else...is to blame...not you or Lucius." Talking was become harder—Albus noticed and acted. "Sit on the bed." He waited until Severus had sat down, leaning forward.

He looked at Malfoy. "Get out of here, Malfoy. You are lucky that, after everything he has been through, Severus retains his compassionate heart." He turned away, unable to look at the other.

As Lucius staggered toward the door, picking up his fallen wand on the way, silver eyes met black. "I'm sorry, Severus."

Severus was nursing his now injured hand close to his chest. "You did...only what was necessary...Luc..." The use of the childhood nickname made Lucius smile—before he left.

There was silence for a long moment. Albus turned and looked into Severus' eyes. "I'm sorry, my boy."

"You are angry..."

"Of course I am angry. Now I cannot touch you—why do I feel so hopeless, Severus?"

"Because...that is what this situation is...hopeless."

"You need to sleep, Severus."

"...Have you...considered my request..." Severus murmured as he shifted position on the bed, lying his head back against the velvet headboard.

Albus stared at him. "Severus. Listen to me. I will not kill you. No matter what you say, you cannot convince me of that." He reached out to touch Severus' cheek, an involuntary gesture that he had done so many times that it was almost subconscious—and Severus flinched away. Albus looked at him for a moment. "I need to sit down. You should rest here for a while. I shall leave you for the rest of today. We will talk again in the morning."

He turned and walked away.

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Severus slowly moved his legs back under the heavy blanket as shivers consumed his body. He thought back—Albus casting the Cruciatus scared him, greatly. Had he become so lost, so angry at what was happening to Severus that he would abandon everything that made him who he was, and start to torture? Severus could not let that happen.

He turned over, shaking his head and frowning. He needed to find an end to this. There had to be something.

What if he could destroy the person who had put him in this situation?

Kill the Dark Lord? That suggestion was foolish—but if he could do that, then Albus would not have to worry so much.

He sat up, ignoring the dizziness. Was it possible? Could he catch the Dark Lord unawares, and dispose of him? The idea seemed impossible.

But he had to do something!

Was he powerful enough? He was weak—but only physically. He was sure that, once reunited with his wand, he could try. And surely that was enough? If he tried, he might be successful, and he could relieve the world of Voldemort—and possibly save himself in the process.

He nodded to himself. He was in charge of his own destiny. But he could not tell Albus—the other would try to stop him, for fear of Severus killing himself. so he would have to convince him that this was the right thing to do.

A letter. He would write a letter, telling Albus what he had gone to do, and how it was what he wanted. And then, when he returned, they could find the cure for this state that he was in—

He did not want to end up in St. Mungo's. He had to do something.

He staggered across the room to the desk. There was parchment and a blue quill. He would write the note, and then he would find the Dark Lord and destroy him.

He lowered the pen to the paper, and started to write.

_**

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I would like to remind you all that the Mentis Rumpere does cause errors in judgement and personality changes—our normally logical Potions' Master seems to think that he can defeat Voldemort once and for all. I wonder if he will be successful...**_


	20. Chapter 20

Broken

_I love this story, so much. I am really sad to see it come to an end. But I am very proud of it too...here it is, the beginning of the last four chapters—I look forward to your comments, as always._

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Chapter 20**

_Dearest Albus,_

_I have to do something—for both our sakes. I cannot just stand by any longer. It is not fair of me to put you under so much stress, to cause you so much pain._

_So I've gone to finish this, I've gone to stop it. Please don't think badly of me—resorting to such a method—but it needs to be done, and I see no other way._

_Try and rest, dear Headmaster, for it will be over soon. I ask you not to follow me—for I do this alone._

_I need to do it alone._

_Until we are reunited,_

_Yours, always,_

_Severus._

Albus read the letter twice—but on the third time, his vision was so blurred that he could hardly see. He could hear the words, spoken in Severus' soft and lilting voice, almost against his ear. He let out a breath he did not realise he had been holding.

Severus was gone—his bed empty, his room deserted, his wand taken from Albus' desk. The letter had been placed in Albus' lap, his name written on the envelope in such untidy yet so familiar scrawl. Albus had been asleep—exhausted by worry and fear and concern—and he had not heard the other leave.

And now, the letter's words fresh in his mind, seemingly burned onto his inner eyelids, reminded him of his dream. The recurring dream that would not leave his imagination. The images came back. The sounds. The terrible emotions.

_He watched as the black eyes lost their focus. He could hear the breathing slow, and finally cease altogether. Grief assaulted his chest—and the tears fell from his eyes, touching a face that could no longer feel anything from this world._

He shook the images away. He stared at the letter again—_"I ask you not to follow me"—_how could he obey that? How could he leave Severus alone? He had to stop him. He would not—could not—let Severus kill himself.

Then where would hope be?

Perhaps it was selfish-the most selfish that Albus had ever been—but he could not let that happen.

He had to stop this.


	21. Chapter 21

Broken

Chapter 21

_**People! 100 reviews! I will admit, readily, that I actually cried last night when I realised I had achieved a target that meant so much to me. From the bottom of my heart, here is a real thank you. You have no idea how much it means. SS19 xxx**_

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Severus clutched his wand tight in one fist, trying to ignore the sweat beading on his palms. He felt peculiar—numb and detached. That was the result of the potentially lethal dosage of Pain-Relieving Potions and Strengthening Solutions that he had consumed before leaving Hogwarts. But he could stand. He could walk. He could _fight_.

He was stood at the end of a large, high-ceilinged room with marble pillars and a cold stone floor, hidden in shadows. He could wait forever until the opportune moment arrived.

Lord Voldemort was stood at the end of this room, back to Severus. His hood was drawn over his face and he seemed lost in thought. Severs found himself filled with terrible hatred at this man—and he would not hesitate to kill him. Keeping to his shadows, he snuck along the wall until he was as close as could be. The Dark Lord had not moved. Severus reached for his wand, drawing it from his pocket. It would be so simple...he started to form the curse in his mind...

"You have to mean it, Severus." Lord Voldemort had not turned, had not even acknowledged Severus' presence. His voice caught Severus by surprise as the harsh memories of his captivity returned, filling him with pain and anxiety.

Voldemort faced Severus—and Severus was transfixed by the white face, seeing no longer the present but instead the terrible past. The glee in those bloody irises every time he screamed or cried. The hideous smirk that twisted such cruel features as he listened to Severus plead for mercy.

And while he was inactive, Voldemort stole his advantage. He disarmed Severus, summoning the ebony wand to his hand. "You should not hesitate." He paused, toying with Severus' wand. "It has been a long time, has it not? Days since we last saw each other. Tell me—how long do the potions you have taken last? How long before they wear off? Is it starting already?"

Severus stared at him. "It doesn't matter. You will kill me."

Voldemort shook his head. "Not yet...I don't want you dead, Severus." His tone was almost conversational, "I enjoy your torment too much for that." He pocketed Severus' wand. "How is dear old Albus, Severus? Coping well with his charge? Or has he lost his mind yet?" Severus stiffened. Voldemort raised a hand, "Oh, how foolish of me—it is you who is losing your mind, is it not?"

Severus threw himself at the Dark Lord, hoping to destroy him through touch alone. Voldemort brought his wand down and Severus collapsed to his knees before him. "I see that my curse has taken is hold—such a foolish move, dear Severus." He leaned forward, tucking one long finger under Severus' chin. Severus flinched, and he smiled. "I must say, you have made a quicker recovery than I was expecting. I could tell. Hence why..." He turned Severus' head to one side, appraising the burn on his cheek. "Tell me, Severus, how did it feel to be hurt by the one you love? And now...you are separated from him..."

Severus stared at him, realisation filling his eyes. "You...you planned this?"

"But of course. When I realised that you were starting to remember who you were, I planted the curse, knowing that if someone could just get it to Dumbledore, then he would cast it without question. It just so happens that a certain...Lucius Malfoy...cares more for you then he lets on. Do not fear, servant, for he will be punished." Voldemort drew away, "And then of course, I tricked you. You though that I was going to capture Dumbledore—which led to you collapsing in the grounds—and him casting the spell that would finally lead you back to me." Voldemort laughed harshly, "To give you some credit, Severus, you are so predictable. I knew you would come here to try to kill me. Did you think you could be successful? Or are you just trying to delay the inevitable?"

Severus looked at him. "What inevitable?"

"Well. Surely you must be aware of the future? What will happen to you...you will end up mindless and insane." Voldemort walked around Severus, "Unless you do not have a mind to lose."

"I know what you are suggesting and it is a route I will not take." Severus answered shortly.

"Oh." Voldemort brushed past Severus, looking at him with a delighted grin, "You have already asked Dumbledore, haven't you? You asked him to kill you—and he refused. But of course he will refuse—that man is selfish, he will not cause himself such damage by fulfilling your request."

"He is not selfish! It is a foolish request of me to make!"

"Why?" Voldemort challenged. "Seems to me that it is the kindest route that you could take—otherwise, you will be imprisoned for the rest of your life in a secure mental ward...and we all know that you cannot lose your mind. That was why I submitted you to such torture."

"You cannot change my mind—I am recovering from this illness, and I shall continue to do so. I have faith in the Headmaster and myself."

Voldemort chuckled. "You never fail to surprise me, Severus, in matters of the heart. Hope? I can crush that. But let me ask you another question, Severus—how many more must you see get hurt, for _you_?"

Severus looked at him. "What?"

"I am going to destroy Malfoy for his disobedience. His love for you has led to him and his family suffering." Voldemort knelt down in front of Severus, "If you are still alive, I will force you to watch."

Severus blinked. The thought hurt him. "He didn't mean..."

"And as for Dumbledore. Have you seen him, recently? He has spent so much time looking after you that he's tired, isn't he, Severus? He's weaker than you have ever seen. He is losing his grip on himself—and has not focused on the war for so long. Will you allow yourself to be responsible for his defeat in this war—because you were selfish enough to deteriorate in front of his eyes?"

"He's not like that!" Severus shouted—but Voldemort simply raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

Severus stared at Voldemort, but the words struck a strange chord within him—as he thought about how Dumbledore had cast the Cruciatus on Malfoy. "He's fine..." He murmured, but there was doubt in his chest. Albus had not mentioned the war—anything—since Severus had returned—and he had hardly left Severus' side—was he forgetting about it?

"Indeed." Voldemort watched Severus for a long moment. "In pain, are we?"

The potions were starting to wear off. Stabbing pains erupted in his chest, and he leaned forward slightly.

"Do you want me to stop it?" Voldemort murmured, close to Severus' ear. "The pain?"

"No."

"But, it is terrible, is it not? You cannot sleep, you cannot eat, you cannot think. You can only watch as your mind and your sanity slip away from you; but I can stop that. All you have to do is...ask..."

"I will not ask such a thing of you." Severus' voice was acidic.

"You did before." Voldemort shot back. He reached out and brushed a finger against Severus' cheek, in a way that was so similar to how Albus had used to. But it didn't burn—the touch soothed the burning weal that marred Severus' cheek. Severus glanced at him. "Don't..."

"Don't...?" Voldemort waited. He let his finger outline a cruel scar that had sliced the side of Severus' neck, "You just have to ask..."

Severus' black eyes caught Voldemort's. "How do I kill myself?"

Voldemort chuckled. "I can do it for you, if that is your wish."

"No. I will control this last aspect of my life—I will no longer be your puppet." Severus answered angrily. Voldemort drew back to look at him. "I bow to your courage—you have been a formidable opponent, dear Severus. Unfortunately, I was better." He pushed Severus' hair back behind his ears. "I will provide you a poison that will kill you within five minutes of taking. All you have to do is swallow it." He reached into his robes and pulled out a small bottle. "Do you want it?"

"Yes." Severus replied, staring at the bottle.

"Yes, what?" Voldemort demanded—Severus looked at him. "I will not use that title with you. You are nothing to me now."

"No, no, Severus—_you _are nothing to _me._" He raised his wand, "Crucio!"

Crippled by pain, Severus hit the ground.

"If you want it, Severus, then you will have to _beg_ me for it!"

Severus raised his head. "Never..."

"Then you will suffer the consequences! Can you last as long as last time, Severus, dear? Crucio!"

Severus cried out, his voice almost a whimper, his breath catching in his chest. The agony was too great—he could not last—his body convulsed violently—he could not breathe...

"Let him go, Tom!"

He looked up at that—Voldemort turned too—and at the other end of the room, Albus Dumbledore stood, robes blowing out behind him, wand drawn, and pointing straight at Voldemort.

And he looked furious.


	22. Chapter 22

**Broken**

_FINALLY! Dumbledore! Get your sexy blue robed ass over here and SAVE Severus! What's that? You will only do that if people watch the Breaking Trilogy trailer on YouTube? Accessible from __**skaterkep**__'s profile? Well, you heard the man! Quickly!_

_Before Severus dies! _

_SS19 xxxx_

**

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Chapter 22**

Voldemort stared at Dumbledore, stunned into silence for a moment. Then he turned an angry gaze on Severus—"You brought him here!" He narrowed his eyes. "I was your last chance for any relief, Severus Snape." He threw the bottle aside—Severus watched it fall to the ground and roll out of sight. "I'm going to destroy you." Voldemort hissed. "You are a fool."

"Hand him over to me, Tom."

"Not yet, Dumbledore, I am having far too much fun with Severus!" He waved his wand again, and Severus cried out from the force of the Cruciatus. He pulled his hands up to his face and shielded his eyes from view.

Dumbledore held out his own wand and blasted bright light from the tip, which knocked Voldemort off balance. Severus, seeing a lapse in the torment, lifted his head just slightly from his arm and scanned the room for the bottle that Voldemort had discarded. But the effort was too much—and he blacked out.

Dumbledore watched Severus collapse to the ground and lie still. Voldemort laughed, "How much can one man stand, Dumbledore?" He stepped in front of Severus, hiding him from Dumbledore's gaze. "But now I can destroy you too, Dumbledore."

"You have harmed Severus enough, Tom. He is of no further value to you."

"I disagree!" Voldemort exclaimed gleefully. "Do you know why, Dumbledore? Because he is just so precious...to you..."

Dumbledore met his gaze. "And your point?"

"I drove you to torture, Dumbledore—I could see that in his mind. Could I drive you to murder too? Would you sacrifice all your morals for Severus Snape?"

The other stirred at the sound of his name being spoken. Voldemort heard him—he grabbed Severus by the back of his collar and picked him up, holding him in front of Voldemort. "Answer the question, Dumbledore, so Severus can hear. Would you hurt and torture and kill, just to see him well? Would you give everything else away—Hogwarts, the war, even Potter—for him?"

Severus shook his head desperately. No one would sacrifice that for him.

Albus looked into the black eyes, and paused for a moment. "Yes, I would."

Voldemort started, "You surprise me, Dumbledore. I thought you were cold and manipulative. You sent Severus back to me to die—you must have known that he would be destroyed the moment I found out he was a spy—and you knew that I would have discovered it before the end."

"You found out because Severus chose to let you find out—for we had argued, and I had said terrible things that should never have been thought, let alone uttered. I asked him to do such a thing for me because he was the only one who could. There was no other reason." Albus' voice was neutral and level.

Voldemort's, on the other hand, was cruel. "But the great Albus Dumbledore pretends to care—but have you noticed how he always uses others as shields? Tell me, Dumbledore, would you sacrifice yourself for him? If it would guarantee his safety and his security? Would you do that for him? Would you _die_ for him?"

"No! No, he would not!" Severus shouted. Voldemort jerked his head back, exposing his neck. He rested the point of his wand on Severus' throat. "Because, Dumbledore, let me tell you something. Severus would die for you."

"Tom. Let him go."

"You've lost, old man." Voldemort laughed. "I owned his fate the moment he read that letter."

Severus moved—he lashed out with his elbow and caught Voldemort unawares. The grip loosened and he moved away. Dumbledore reached out, and using wandless magic, carefully moved Severus back against the wall. In a similar way to Voldemort, he stepped in front of the other, protecting him. "You will not touch him, again, Tom."

Voldemort snarled, "Then I shall kill you first." He pointed his wand at Dumbledore. "He will watch you die, and then you will leave him defenceless—how does that make you feel, Dumbledore? I will make his last moments on this earth agony—and he will plead for death before the end." Bright orange fire exploded from the end of his wand, and he cackled as Dumbledore flinched and frantically waved his wand to blast it away.

But Dumbledore was not so easily defeated—and renewed by the fact that he could hear Severus' irregular and uneven breathing just behind him—and he fought back with a counter-curse. Voldemort was knocked backward by a gust of invisible wind—and Dumbledore walked forward, holding his wand steady above Voldemort. "I could destroy you now, Tom."

"You could do." Voldemort's eyes flicked to where Severus lay. "It's sad, in a way. Such a strong warrior. But he remains loyal to you. That is his downfall. He is fading, Dumbledore. Are you not going to sit with him? Or will that hurt you too much?"

Dumbledore glanced toward Severus—and in that moment, Voldemort disappeared.

Severus heard a voice, close to his ear, "He will only become more obsessed with you. He will lose the war. That will be your fault."

And then there was silence.


	23. Chapter 23

**Broken**

_**My AN is at the end of this chapter, for reasons that you will understand. My favourite chapter that I have ever written.**_

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**Chapter 23**

Albus crossed to Severus, pulling him into his arms. When Severus moaned, Albus shushed him. "Shh, Severus, shh."

Severus looked up at him, "...You came..."

"Of course. Did you expect me to stay behind? I thought you were going to kill yourself..." Albus brushed Severus' hair away from his face, careful not to cause any skin-to-skin contact.

"...I planned to kill him..." Severus smiled, just slightly. "So foolish."

"No—simply as brave as you always are. Always will be." Albus shook his head. "Come, I shall take you back to Hogwarts and we can..."

"No." Severus looked at him. "I don't want to."

Albus raised an eyebrow, "Then where do you want to go, child?"

Severus sighed. "Away."

"I can take you away. Anywhere. We can help you get better. Away from him an Hogwarts, it might be good for you..."

"No, no, Headmaster, you are misunderstanding me." Severus drew in a shaky breath. "...I want to rest...and not have to wake up...I am so tired, Headmaster..."

Realisation hit Albus hard, "No. Don't do this, Severus, please...don't give up."

"I have to. I can't fight any longer. Why should I have to?"

"I don't want to lose you..."

"You will lose me anyway. Please. I want to die knowing who I am...and what I mean to someone..."

Albus saw the resolution in Severus' eyes. "Is there nothing I can say that might change your mind?" He whispered, tying to deny the fact. Severus looked at him for a long moment. "No."

Albus swallowed. "Then what would you like me to do?"

Severus raised a shaking hand and pointed into a corner of the room. "There's a poison that he offered...I want to take it..."

Albus summoned the small bottle to his hand, holding it in his crooked fingers. "I don't want to lose you, Severus. I can't. You are everything to me..."

"But I cannot...ask you to focus on me...we are at war, Headmaster. You are supposed...to be leading...us to victory. I will not ask you to sacrifice that for me." Severus half smiled. "Let us face it, we knew that this was going to happen. Everyone meets their end in time."

Albus blinked, warm tears blurring his vision. "But this is not your time."

"...You do not choose my time, Headmaster." Severus scolded. "I do. And I say it is now." He looked at the poison. "Let me have it."

Albus uncorked the bottle and looked inside. "It's red." He announced—trying to delay—"Do you know what it is?"

Severus shook his head. "No. Stop stalling. I can't take it myself." He glanced at his shaking hands. "The potions I took are wearing off. It hurts, Headmaster...please..."

"Do not beg me to kill you, Severus." A tear fell from Albus' eyes, and he used his hand to swipe it away. He breathed in sharply. "It is hard enough as it is." He rested the small vial against Severus' lips—"Are you sure?"

Severus nodded. "Yes."

Albus tipped the vial up, and watched as Severus swallowed the poison. A couple of droplets trickled down the side of Severus' cheek—the younger wizard raised his burnt hand to dab it away. Albus found himself staring at the damage, "You should not have tried to stop me."

"If I had not...you would have killed him...I would not let you do that, Headmaster, for I care too much for you." He retched, "It tastes vile."

"How long do we have?" Albus asked, feeling sick at the thought of asking the question in such a casual way. Severus frowned, "About five minutes?"

Albus looked away, turning his face from Severus' view. "Five minutes?" He repeated. His voice was trembling. "Five minutes to say good bye?"

There was silence for a few moments, before Severus laughed. "I don't know what to say..."

Albus turned his attention back to him—his cheeks were streaked with the tears that he would no longer hold back. "Me neither." He tried to smile, but it failed. "I suppose...sentimental twaddle is necessary...about how much you mean to me...how much I care for you..."

"How about how much I care for you?" Severus interrupted. "I never said, did I?"

"You showed it, by showing me how brave you were."

"That's not the same as saying it." Severus shifted position, resting his head against Albus' chest.

Albus tried to break the tension, "Well, I already have a tomb for you, from the first time you died, so..."

Severus grinned, "I do enjoy being so convenient."

They sobered as the weight of the situation seemed to crush them. Severus glanced at Albus, "I wish we had not argued, all those weeks ago."

Albus nodded. "Indeed—none of this would have happened had we not...had _I_ not called you such terrible things."

"It was my fault too. I know that you had no choice. I know that you needed a spy. I will never hold that against you."

Albus stared at him, "Even now?" He whispered, "You are dying because of that decision. My decision."

Severus shook his head, "I did my duty. And I learnt a few things about myself, too. A beneficial situation."

Albus was intrigued, despite the fact his heart was breaking. "What things?"

Severus paused for a second—seconds that he no longer had to waste—finally he met Albus' eyes. "I learnt about my own strength. I learnt that I had taken much for granted. When I was in that cell, I realised...I realised that I was lucky. Lucky to have you. Someone who I knew I could turn to, if I needed you. After everything I have done, all the sins I committed...there was still someone who..." He pressed one arm to his stomach, "I was hoping it wouldn't hurt..."

Albus watched him wince, "Is there anything I can do?"

Severus smiled. "You being here is enough." He frowned. "I am tired."

"You have been through so much. I would have found a way, Severus. I would have."

Another silence—less comfortable this time.

"Did you mean—"

"I meant what I—"

They both stopped at the same moment, their sentences blending together into emotion rather than words. Albus leaned forward. "I meant what I said. I would have sacrificed anything for you. That's what I learnt, Severus. I learnt that you mean the world to me. And I would have died for you."

Severus laughed, "No, you would not, because every single time, I would have made sure that I was the one who died first. I am the less valuable, remember?"

Albus' voice was deadly serious. "Not to me."

Severus gripped Albus' robe, a spasm of pain crossing his face. "It's time." He breathed sharply, "I will wait. And I will watch...over you...until it is your time..."

"We will be reunited, Severus, I promise." Albus felt the sob catch in his chest. "I am going to miss you."

Severus moaned, fighting to get the words out, "I will haunt you for eternity, if you so need."

"No. No, I want you to have the rest you deserve." Albus replied.

Severus groaned, and Albus hushed him. "Such a drama queen, Severus Snape."

Severus laughed. "Always." He brushed a hand against Albus' cheek—"It's all right," He murmured, when Albus pulled away, "I can't feel anything. And I need to be close to you..."

Albus clenched his fingers around Severus', "I love you, Severus Snape, for all that you were and are to me."

Severus nodded. "That's good. And I suppose...even after the fact...you sent me to the Dark Lord to face my own fate...and labelled me a coward...and made sit with Sirius Black once a week..." He smiled. "I love you too. Is that you wanted to hear?"

Albus nodded. "It is."

"Win the war, Headmaster...make sure you do that...otherwise I shall make your afterlife unpleasant...my final promise...to you..."

"I will not let you down again." Albus answered.

Severus moved closer, sighing. "I think...that's five minutes..." He whispered.

"Sleep well, my brave child." Albus leaned forward, murmuring into his ear. "My son." He pulled back—just to watch the smallest of smiles appear on Severus' lips—before the black eyes lost their focus and drifted closed. His fingers loosened in Albus' grip. Albus felt his heart tear in two, and he realised that he had left so much unsaid.

But he supposed, in those final moments, that there had been understanding. Between them. They had finally, after all the times they had shared, admitted that they were not teacher and student, or colleagues. The bond they had shared, the bond they had created through so much torment and so much toil, went much further than that. He looked down at Severus' still face, feeling his tears roll off his cheeks. He sighed, unable to comprehend what had happened.

But at the same time...as he looked at the small smile and the fact that Severus was no longer in pain...he realised that maybe...maybe, this was the right thing to do.

* * *

_**You will be pleased to know that this chapter made me cry whilst writing; because this chapter was decided before I even started the prequel To Break. I knew that we would end up here, as much as it breaks my heart.**_

_**There is one final chapter left to go; I think you will like it.**_

_**Much love, always, SS19.**_


	24. Chapter 24

**BROKEN:**

_**This story means the world to me. Which is why I have cried twice before publishing this. I love it. It is everything that I have ever hoped for, and more. Enjoy.**_

_**

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**_

**Epilogue:**

_Not long after Severus Snape's funeral on March 25__th__, 1995, Lord Voldemort used the information he had taken from his prisoner's mind to attack the Order. _

_He started with Sirius Black—and soon the list of the dead outnumbered the list of the living. Lucius Malfoy was found tortured in an alleyway—he died in St. Mungo's not long after, forcing his young son to seek revenge on the one responsible._

_Albus Dumbledore was about to realise that in war, there would be so many casualties, so many that he could not save. As he watched those he cared for die around him, forever haunted by the loss of the one he called his most beloved, he realised that the war had to be won. _

_With the help of one Harry Potter, six Horcruxes were found. Albus briefed Harry in how to destroy the final one—and once Harry had been "killed", he faced Voldemort one final time._

_They duelled—but old and weary, Albus knew that he could not best him. He simply occupied Voldemort's time until he saw Harry, lingering, hidden beneath his cloak on the perimeter. And Albus realised that...this was his time. This time, he would not fight it. He lowered his wand._

_Voldemort saw the slip in his defences—and he cast his curse._

_The green light shot towards Albus Dumbledore._

He braced himself for the green light to strike—he expected it to hurt, and yet, it felt simply as though someone had taken his hand and gently pulled him. The last thing he would see is his laughing face—and yet, the laughing face did not know that his end was so near.

And for the first time, Albus felt happy, content, at peace.

And when his eyes flickered open, he was staring up at a cloudless blue sky. The ground beneath him was firm, but not hard. It was a field. He could hear the birds singing and the animals speaking in their own tongue. So this was death? He got to his feet, looking down at his tangible figure. It seemed quite nice—death.

"How nice of you to finally make your appearance." A sarcastic voice murmured behind him. Albus knew the inflections so well. He turned to greet Snape, who was stood a few metres away, hands on his hips.

"Severus..." It had been such a long time...three years...Severus did not look very different, pale and thin. He wanted to run and hold him close in his arms, but instead just contented in examining every detail. The scar was still present on Severus' cheek—confusion must have crossed Albus' face, because Severus raised one hand to touch the white lesion. "I wasn't a complete saint." His words were dripping with acerbic humour. "I have to suffer for my sins. Unlike you."

Albus laughed briefly, "I did terrible things."

There was a long, weighty pause—and as usual between them, words were left unsaid. Albus could feel that. He changed the topic. "So...am I dead?"

Severus nodded. "The Dark Lord was victorious for a single moment. I have watched him fall. Justice, at last." He paused. "You were the last person that he killed."

Albus was tired—and he had moved to a bench, seating himself down. "I should have died long before now. I came so close..." So many times—the Astronomy Tower and Draco Malfoy. The cave with the locket. Bellatrix and her games.

"I know." Severus came closer. "But it wasn't your time. I promised that I would watch over you, Headmaster. Do you remember?"

The sudden change in Draco's judgement—nothing that Albus had said...a calming, soothing voice in his ear when he had been drinking the potion in the cave, telling him not to panic, and that none of it was real...and Bellatrix, her curse rebounding and destroying her. He stared at Severus, "That was you?"

"I do not break promises that I make to you, Headmaster. I have waited for you—because—there was no one else for me to go to. I don't have a family, and I have not yet found Lily...so...I have clung to whatever life there is, until I knew that you were coming. I promised. I would not break it."

Albus smiled fondly, touching the space on the bench beside him. "Stubborn after death too, Severus?" He waited until Severus had sat down. "It has been a long time...are you at peace now?"

Severus looked at him for a long moment. "I am now. I couldn't rest..." He paused, as if the words surprised him. "I couldn't rest with you still fighting in the war. It was my fault. The Order." He looked away, and Albus saw the guilt.

He answered that vehemently, "Never your fault, Severus. You had no control over your actions. He was too powerful for you. I refuse to let you feel guilt over that..."

Severus' eyes were dark. "You would have won the war earlier, if I had not given in. I know that well. I suffer for it every day. As do you. I know the deaths affected you."

"Not as much as losing you." Dumbledore murmured, resting one hand on Severus' arm. "No one will ever understand how painful that was."

He remembered returning to Hogwarts, carrying the body in his arms reverently. The school had been in uproar, wondering where their Headmaster had disappeared too—and for those in the know, where his patient had gone too. Minerva had been the first to see him. He still remembered, vividly, the expression on her face—horror and despair. Poppy too. Severus had been well loved, despite his behaviour and general manner.

The funeral had proved that. Albus had tried to keep it a small affair—but the Order and the teaching faculty would not allow him that. They had wanted people to know about the strength that Severus Snape had possessed—they had wanted people to understand how brave he had been. What he had been through.

He still had the letter that the nurse who had treated Severus in St. Mungo's when they had first recovered him had sent, after the funeral had made the front page of the Daily Prophet. He had hardly thought about her since they had returned to Hogwarts—but he remembered how kind she had been.

Somehow, Severus touched lives thanks to his determination and devotion and loyalty. In the end, Albus had been pleased that he had finally been recognised for his efforts. People had loved him, yes.

But, as Albus had fiercely reminded Minerva when she had accused him of being lost in his grief, they had not watched him die. They had not seen the life fade from his eyes.

He had been thirty-five years old! Practically a child!

He drifted back to the present—Severus was watching him, expression unreadable. "What was I saying?"

"You gave me what I wanted most in the world, Headmaster."

"Giving you that bottle of poison remains the hardest thing I have ever done, Severus. It broke my heart—and I was the never the same." Albus' expression had darkened.

Severus felt a tug on his heart. "Albus." He murmured. "It was the best thing you ever did." He reached out and interlinked his fingers with Albus', "Listen to me. You gave me the freedom I didn't deserve, but so desperately craved."

Albus bit his lip, the emotions of that moment, that terrible decision, flooding back to him. "I am sorry though, for forcing you to think that was the only way out. I suppose...I cared too much about you. I swore to protect you—and my selfishness..."

"I need no apology." Severus smiled affectionately, a genuine emotion that Albus had missed. "You did what you always did, Headmaster." He paused, perhaps for effect, perhaps because the words were so heavy with emotion. But he still forced them from his lips. "I was broken. But you...you..."

Black eyes fixed on blue, unwilling to let go. "Fixed me."

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_**Thank you so much for reading To Break, Breaking and Broken. This is the story that helped me realise that I wanted to write fanfiction. I started this trilogy in January of this year. 10 months later, it remains so close to my heart. **_

_**To all 25,000 of you who have read this over time, and all who have left their comments, thank you. I will never forget it.**_

_**I hope the ending is satisfactory.**_

_**SeverusSnape19.**_


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